Frasier: You know, frankly, I don't have time for this nonsense. What I did or did not do on my vacation is none of your concern. Don't you have better things to do than to speculate about my sex life?
Bulldog: Oh, "Frasier Crane's sex life." Hey, there's a word for that. It's an Oxy... Oxy...
Roz: ...moron!
Bulldog: Hey, wow, easy. I'll get it.

Frasier: Oh, look. Look. Two wine glasses.
Daphne: Oh, yes. One for you, one for her. That proves it all right!
Frasier: I am not crazy! I am dating a supermodel zoologist, who I stole away from a professional football player, and she is off to the Galapagos islands to artificially inseminate iguanas! Is that so hard to believe?

Daphne: I think you two are just being awful, I've never known Dr. Crane to tell a lie.
Niles: Actually, this is not without precedent. When he was ten, he forged letters from Leonard Bernstein and told everyone they were pen pals.
Martin: Oh, yeah.
Niles: He'd come bounding up the stairs, "Got another one from Lenny"! We were all agog until Mr. Bernstein wrote that his Broadway debut was "Candide" when everyone knows that it was "On The Town." That's when we knew it was a fake!
Martin: The sloppy kid lettering was also a clue.