TV Quotes

Frasier: Oh, look. Look. Two wine glasses.
Daphne: Oh, yes. One for you, one for her. That proves it all right!
Frasier: I am not crazy! I am dating a supermodel zoologist, who I stole away from a professional football player, and she is off to the Galapagos islands to artificially inseminate iguanas! Is that so hard to believe?

Daphne: I think you two are just being awful, I've never known Dr. Crane to tell a lie.
Niles: Actually, this is not without precedent. When he was ten, he forged letters from Leonard Bernstein and told everyone they were pen pals.
Martin: Oh, yeah.
Niles: He'd come bounding up the stairs, "Got another one from Lenny"! We were all agog until Mr. Bernstein wrote that his Broadway debut was "Candide" when everyone knows that it was "On The Town." That's when we knew it was a fake!
Martin: The sloppy kid lettering was also a clue.

Frasier: What is this with my name on it, Roz?
Roz: That's the contract for the Hunan Palace gig. That's how much they were going to pay you. I guess I need them to change the name on here to "Bulldog".
Frasier: They pay you that much just to read some copy?
Roz: Yes. Of course, Bulldog usually adds his own special touch.
Bulldog: [Gong] [in a stereotypical Chinese accent] You will come, chop chop to Hunan Palace, where Peking duck is always extra crispy. [rustles paper, duck whistle]
Roz: We're gonna get sued this time for sure.

Bulldog: Hey, where the hell's my Cosell tape? Somebody stole my Cosell tape! This stinks. This is total BS! This- Oh, here it is.