Frasier Quote #1219
Frasier: I came up with a rather ingenious plan to occupy their evening. I bought tickets to an event that's right up their aisle. I felt so mortified just buying the tickets, I paid cash so they couldn't trace it back to me.
[Martin and Sherry enter the coffeehouse]
Waitress: Excuse me, people. Did somebody leave some tickets back here?
Frasier: Oh, good Lord. Yes.
Waitress: Something called, "Nashville on Ice".
Frasier: Yes, right here.
Waitress: "The All-Skating Country Jamboree."
Frasier: Oh, don't look so smug. You try skating and blowing into a jug while your heart's breaking.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Have you noticed there are fewer hazlenuts in these biscotti?
Frasier: So I'm not crazy.
Niles: And yet they've gone up twenty-five cents.
Frasier: Oh, fewer nuts, more money. Something I've been aspiring to my entire professional life.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Niles, was that Natalie Spencer I just saw you talking with?
Niles: As a matter of fact it was. I've been admiring her all evening, so I steeled myself and asked her if she might be free next week.
Niles: Well, her lips said "no" but her eyes said "read my lips."
Quote from She's the Boss
Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
Quote from The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.