TV Quotes

Frasier: Well, you know, we can talk about it, we can think about it, but nobody really knows how or when.
Roz: One second we're alive as anyone else, and then... what?
Frasier: Darkness. Nothingness. Afterlife?
Niles: I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me. Mozart'll tell me he's busy but then later I'll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln.

Daphne: If Eddie were one of the Beatles, I think he'd be George. I don't know why. [Daphne heads to the kitchen]
Frasier: And yet she's never been committed. [in a mock British accent] I don't know why.

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!