TV Quotes

Roz: Gee, what a couple of Nerdlingers.
Frasier: Oh, and I suppose you were Miss Popular at High School?
Roz: I would say yes.
Frasier: I'm guessing that explains why, too.

Niles: Obviously the time has come for me to expand my practice, so I'm placing an ad in the Seattle "Style" magazine.
Frasier: An advertisement? Isn't that a bit commercial for a psychiatrist?
Niles: Said Dr. Pot to Dr. Kettle! Besides, a highly respected obstetrician on my floor did it and now his waiting room has more swollen bellies than a Buddhist temple. [laughs] I like that. I'm on my way to call it in, I just want to run it by you.
Frasier: All right. "Dr. Niles Crane, Jung specialist. Servicing individuals, couples, groups. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tell me where it hurts." Well, that's just excellent, Niles. All you're missing now is a very tasteful cartoon of you smiling brightly and holding a shrunken head.
Niles: Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was too distracted by your face going by on the side of a bus.

Roz: Ever heard of Lupe Velez?
Frasier: Who?
Roz: Lupe Velez. The movie star in the '30s. Well, her career hit the skids so she decided she'd make one final stab at immortality. She figured if she couldn't be remembered for her movies, she'd be remembered for the way she died. And all Lupe wanted was to be remembered. So, she plans this lavish suicide. Flowers, candles, silk sheet, white satin gown, full hair and make-up, the works. She takes the overdose of pills, lays on the bed and imagines how beautiful she's going to look on tomorrow's front page. Unfortunately, the pills don't set well with the enchilada combo plate she sadly chose as her last meal. She stumbles to the bathroom, trips and goes head-first into the toilet. And that's how they found her.
Frasier: Is there a reason you're telling me this story?
Roz: Yes. Even though things may not happen like we planned, they can work out anyway.
Frasier: Remind me again how it worked for Lupe, last seen with her head in the toilet.
Roz: All she wanted was to be remembered. Will you ever forget that story?

Frasier: I have someone here with me today, someone you haven't seen for quite a while. There's something she'd like to tell you, something she's wanted to tell you for a very, very long time. Mrs. Mulhern?
Mrs. Mulhern: You little whore!
Nora: Mother!
Mrs. Mulhern: So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus. You'll pay for that, missy!
Roz: I was wrong, Frasier! Your way is better!