Franklin: Could we just stop for a second? This whole getting-left-at-the-altar thing— I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling.
Frasier: I may be able to illuminate that for you! What you are feeling is that this woman has reached into your chest, plucked out your heart, and thrown it to her hell-hounds for a chew toy! And it's not the last time either! Because that's what this woman is! She is the devil! There's no use running away from her, because no matter how far you go, no matter how many years you let pass, you will never be completely out of reach of those bony fingers! So, drink hearty, Franklin, and laugh! Because you have made a pact with Beelzebub! And her name is Mary Ann!

Daphne: I wish someone would just tell me who this woman is, and why we're trying to impress the pants off her.
Frasier: She's a one-time Boston barmaid who had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a sanitarium, where I met her, fell for her, and then was so mercilessly rejected by her that to this day there is a sucking chest wound where once there dwelled a heart. [opens the door; breezily:] Diane.

Diane: So, there I was, on the balcony of my Malibu beachhouse, when a pod of whales passed by. I knew I had to commune with these gentle giants, so like a flash, I was on the beach, scrambling to my kayak. But cruel fortune interceded, when, not twenty yards offshore, I suddenly discovered myself entangled in an enormous bed of-of, um—
Niles: Sea kelp?
Diane: Exactly right, sea kelp!
Martin: Oh, that's funny. I thought he said "seek help."