Martin Quote #310
Frasier: Oh, Dad. This is a small thing but you left the sponge in the sink again.
Frasier: Well, as I mentioned last evening, if it stays wet, not only does it begin to smell but it becomes a breeding ground for bacteria.
Frasier: So, if I were to, say, wipe up that salsa that you spilled on the table just now, I would be leaving behind bacteria such as salmonella, listeria, flagella. Now wouldn't that bother you?
Martin: Yeah, I guess you're right. It would bother me. I wouldn't dream of touching that sponge now.
[Martin whistles. Eddie comes and licks the table clean.]
Frasier: Ah, yes. Our own foul-breathed, little handy-wipe.
Features in the collection: Quarantine Collection.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: She's staying. Turns out they're sleeping together but not having sex. See, they can't have sex because of an injury Joe suffered when kicked by a spooked sheep during an air raid while his family was vacationing in the Falkland Islands during the war.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Oh, Niles, why do you even care about those people? In your hour of need they pretend you don't even exist. They treat you like you're a leper, a non-person.
Niles: But I really, really like them. I know, I know. It makes me sound pathetic. But I'm newly separated. These people have been my social circle for ten years. Frasier, they're my tribe.
Frasier: Well, I hate to break this to you, "Waltzes With Snobs," but ... they have left you on the mountaintop to die.
Quote from The Two Mrs. Cranes
Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.
Quote from The Good Son
Delivery Man: Where do you want it?
Martin: Where's the TV?
Niles: It's in that credenza.
Martin: Point it at that.
Delivery Man: What about this chair?
Niles: The chair? Here, let me get it out of your way.
Frasier: Niles. Niles, be careful with that! That's a Wassily! Oh. Dad, as dear as I'm sure this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here.
Martin: I know. It's eclectic.