Niles Quote #513
Niles: I wasn't invited.
Frasier: Niles, it's one party.
Niles: Yes, but when you're off the A-list for one party you're off for all of them. From now on I'll be relegated to B-list charity events, grubby little theatre companies and last year's diseases.
Frasier: This often happens in these cases when two people separate. Their friends choose one spouse over the other. I'm sure they just chose Maris because she's better connected and has more money than you do.
Niles: Exactly which part of that was meant to ease my pain?
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: She's staying. Turns out they're sleeping together but not having sex. See, they can't have sex because of an injury Joe suffered when kicked by a spooked sheep during an air raid while his family was vacationing in the Falkland Islands during the war.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Oh, Niles, why do you even care about those people? In your hour of need they pretend you don't even exist. They treat you like you're a leper, a non-person.
Niles: But I really, really like them. I know, I know. It makes me sound pathetic. But I'm newly separated. These people have been my social circle for ten years. Frasier, they're my tribe.
Frasier: Well, I hate to break this to you, "Waltzes With Snobs," but ... they have left you on the mountaintop to die.
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.