TV Quotes

Niles: Oh, Frasier, I had a breakthrough today with one of my compulsive gamblers and he gave me two tickets to the racetrack on Saturday. It's a luxury box. I thought you might want to go.
Frasier: I would love to Niles. Why don't you want to use them?
Niles: Well, the jockeys if you must know.
Frasier: What?
Niles: Diminutive, underweight figures in expensive silks wielding riding crops. It just reminded me too much of Maris.

Frasier: So why is it we have so much trouble making friends? Is it because we've become closed off? No longer want to reach out to our fellow man? Well, I'd like to think that if one of you listeners out there happened to see me on the street you'd feel free to walk right on up to me and-
Roz: Excuse me, Dr. Crane, we have to stop for a very important public service announcement. ... Have you lost your mind? You're opening yourself up to every creep out there.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, that's exactly the kind of cynicism I'm talking about. I, for one, happen to believe in the kindness of strangers.
Roz: Well I believe in the strangeness of strangers.

Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

Delivery Man: Where do you want it?
Martin: Where's the TV?
Niles: It's in that credenza.
Martin: Point it at that.
Delivery Man: What about this chair?
Niles: The chair? Here, let me get it out of your way.
Frasier: Niles. Niles, be careful with that! That's a Wassily! Oh. Dad, as dear as I'm sure this piece is to you, I just don't think it goes with anything here.
Martin: I know. It's eclectic.