Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.

Frasier: I see you've been busy in the kitchen.
Daphne: Yeah. I'm bringing Grammy Moon's famous plum duff. It's a still flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag.
Martin: Who gets to lick the bag?
Daphne: No. You see, Grammy Moon had a secret ingredient. She'd soak it for hours in rum, then ignite it in a blinding flash. As soon as she came out of the kitchen with no eyebrows, we knew dessert was ready. You know, to this day the smell of burning hair puts me in the holiday spirit.

Frasier: Maris has cancelled your credit card.
Roz: Whoa, Merry Christmas.
Waitress: Would you care to use a different one?
Niles: There's no point. They're all in her name. I'm calling her right now and demanding the restoration of my credit card. And my bank accounts. ... And my phone service.