Frasier: Yes, I've tried dealing with this problem on my own but Bulldog insists on interrupting my show with his foolish pranks.
Kate: I heard.
Frasier: Yes, well I did not spend eight grueling years at Harvard to be mocked by that juvenile jackass.
Kate: Shameless.
Frasier: Oh, he's beyond shameless!
Kate: I'm talking about the way you manage to get Harvard into every conversation.
Frasier: Well, I'm sure you'll mention your alma mater, too, some day. When it's accredited.

Frasier: Well, that's one on me, or rather one on me and my call screener, Roz, whose ancestors were once heard remarking, "Oh, what a nice wooden horse, of course I'll sign for it."

Frasier: [answering the telephone] Hello?
Bulldog: [posh voice] Hello, this is Dr. Julius Irving. I'm calling for Dr. Niles Crane. His receptionist said he might be there.
Frasier: I'm sorry, I am expecting him if you'd like to leave a message.
Bulldog: No, no, nothing important. Some of the boys here at the club have a little bet going about "The Mikado."
Frasier: Well, perhaps I can help. I'm Niles's brother, Dr. Frasier Crane, and as luck would have it I was in an all-male version of "The Mikado" at Oxford. People still ask to see my Yum-Yum.
Bulldog: I don't suppose you happen to remember the words to "Three Little Maids"?
Frasier: Well, let me see. Well, of course my falsetto isn't what it used to be but, um... [singing in falsetto:] "Three little maids from school are we, prim as a school girl well may be, filled to the brim with girlish glee, three little maids from school!"
[Martin enters with his radio, laughing]
Frasier: Dad, would you please be quiet? I'm trying to settle a bet here.
Martin: You sure are! Some caller bet Bulldog he couldn't make you sing over the air. [laughs]
Bulldog: Sayonara, Doc!