Niles Quote #211
Quote from Niles in Slow Tango in South Seattle
Niles: Well, when I brought you a beer in your room the other day I couldn't help but notice you had pictures of Frasier and Frederick and an autographed one from someone named Ken Griffey Jr. But none of Maris and me. So I brought you this.
Martin: Oh, gee, thanks. What's Maris doing wearing jodhpurs? She hasn't taken up horseback riding, has she?
Niles: No, no. She wanted to, but unfortunately her little quadriceps are so tight she's incapable of straddling anything larger than a border collie.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
‘Slow Tango in South Seattle’ Quotes
Quote from Niles
Niles: Wait a minute. We're not talking about Miss Warner?
Martin: Don't tell me this was going on during your lessons too?
Niles: No, you'll be relieved to know that while Frasier was getting his Rachmaninoffs I was actually studying music.
Quote from Frasier
Clarice: You're here because of that book, aren't you?
Frasier: Yes and I'd like to apologize right off. Er, I told that story to Mr. Fallow in confidence. It was never meant to be in print.
Clarice: There's no need to apologize. That was a lovely time in my life. It was nice to relive it. So, are you married?
Frasier: Divorced. You?
Clarice: I never married.
Frasier: I came here to apologize about more than just the book. I never felt quite right about the way I left things. I abandoned you. It was selfish and cowardly.
Clarice: Oh, Frasier, relax. I always felt guilty for short-changing you on your music lessons. Do you still keep it up?
Frasier: ... Oh, the piano? Yes!
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: It's such a relief to get that off my chest.
Clarice: [o.s.] Mother. Mother, I'm going now.
Ms. Warner: You run along, Clarice.
Frasier: Clarice?
Clarice: [entering] Oh, excuse me.
Ms. Warner: Dear, this is Frasier Crane. Apparently we were quite an item once. [holds Frasier's hand]
Clarice: Frasier Crane. Well, what are you doing here?
Frasier: Obviously making an enormous mistake.