Frasier: Amazing! Well, there you have it, Seattle, the miracle of the sibling relationship spelled out in an unselfish act of head-shaving. Well, that's about all the time we have. I'd like to thank my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, for being here today. Niles, I would shave my head for you.
Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

Frasier: Niles, what the hell are you doing? I don't want to write a book, for God's sake. I'm out of here.
Niles: Frasier, I know it's asking a big favor. I mean, I know you're busy. But I just want you to know that all of my life I've dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library and go to the card catalog and see my name
under "mental illness".

[Martin is wearing headphones to listen to the TV]
Niles: Very clever solution.
Frasier: Yes. It also has another little feature that I like. Watch this. [to Martin] Hey, Dad! Nice shirt. Did they throw that in the last time you had your tires rotated?
Niles: Hey, Dad. Tell us about the time you met Dwight Eisenhower. We haven't heard that story this hour.
Frasier: Okay, okay, my turn. Hey, Dad? Remember-
Martin: Say another word and I'll club you both with my cane.