Frasier: Merry Christmas, Seattle! Yes, this is Dr. Frasier Crane coming to you on Christmas Day. Christmas, that very magical time of the year, when each moment is as unique as a snowflake, never to be recreated.
[Roz bangs on the window]
Roz: I'm sorry, Frasier, the news went over you. You're gonna have to do that again.
Frasier: Merry Christmas, Seattle...

Frasier: Dad, what are you doing with that?
Martin: I'm gonna hang it on the front door, like I always do.
Frasier: But it's plastic.
Martin: Well, of course it's plastic. Do you think a real one would've lasted since 1967?

Martin: Let's finish decorating the Christmas tree. I brought up the good lights from the storage room.
Frasier: Oh, dad, you know what, I don't want to use those lights this year. I picked up these just yesterday.
Martin: Chili peppers?
Frasier: Well, yes, they're very fashionable.
Martin: Chili peppers aren't Christmas.
Frasier: Well, for that matter, neither are scotch pines or snow ornaments. And for God's sake, if you want to be technical, Bethlehem was in the desert.
Martin: Fine. Why don't we decorate a palm tree?
Frasier: I don't need your sarcasm.
Martin: But I always use those lights.
Frasier: Dad, dad. This is my house, these are my decorations, just once, can I have just one thing I wanted this Christmas?
Martin: Hey, look. Wait a minute. I know you're upset about Freddie, but don't take it out on me.
Frasier: Oh fine. Now you're the psychiatrist?
Martin: Oh, I give up. Go ahead, decorate the thing. Use your chili peppers!
Frasier: All right, I don't want them anymore!
Martin: Go ahead. Use 'em! Why don't- You know, maybe we could hang a few radishes, put a nice broccoli on top!