Frasier: It's 4:25, and this is Dr. Frasier Crane. Roz, who's our next caller?
Roz: We have Hank on line three. He's having trouble with his neighbors.
Frasier: Hello, Hank, I'm listening.
Hank: "Am I on?"
Frasier: Yes, you're on the air.
Hank: "Hello, am I on?"
Frasier: Hank, listen. Turn down your radio and just talk into your phone.
Hank: "Hello?"
Frasier: Hank, please. You won't be able to hear yourself. We're on a seven-second delay.
Hank: "Hello, can you hear me?"
Frasier: For crying out loud! Thank you, Hank. People, would you please turn off your damn radios! Ah, no, I mean just those of you who are calling in!

Daphne: Now, the theme this year is Santa's workshop. Everybody put on your little elf hats.
Frasier: I am not putting this on my head! I mean, for God's sake, I'm a respected professional!
Martin: But if you don't, it'll look stupid!
Frasier: Oh, I think the ship has already sailed on that one.
Martin: Just put the hat on, Frasier.
Frasier: You can't tell me what to do.
Martin: I am telling you. Put the hat on.
Frasier: The days are gone when you can just sit me on top of some stupid old Packard and make me wear a matching sweater with my little brother.
Daphne: Boys, please, don't fight! Are you forgetting what day it is?
Frasier: It's October 21!

Daphne: # Deck the halls with boughs of holly # [Martin joins in] Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la # 'Tis the season to be jolly # Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la # Don we now our gay apparel # Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la #
Frasier: Excuse me, excuse me. Exactly how long have I been asleep?