Frasier Quote #3036
Receptionist: I'm sorry Dr. Crane, you're not on the list, I can't let you in.
Frasier: But I have an invitation.
Receptionist: Yes, but you're not on the list.
Frasier: Yes, but I do have an invitation.
Receptionist: But you aren't on the list.
Frasier: Yes, well, if I were on the list, I wouldn't need an invitation, I'd just say "I'm on the list." Therefore, the invitation supersedes the list.
Receptionist: No, invitations are given out only to those on the list.
Frasier: Ah-ha. But you do concede that I do have a valid invitation?
Frasier: Then it naturally follows that I would be on the list.
Receptionist: But you're not.
Frasier: Then how did I get the invitation?
Receptionist: I really don't know. You could have stolen it...
Frasier: Are you accusing me of deception?
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: So what kind of hoity toity place did it end up being?
Frasier: It was a hell hole! They had the nerve to call it a day spa, when it's nothing more than a mere front for a bona fide luxury spa which taunts those kept at bay outside its golden door.
Martin: If you didn't go in, how do you know it's better?
Frasier: It had to be! The door was gold, ours was only silver. Gold is better than silver.
Niles: [muttering] Stupid silver.
Quote from Martin
Niles: Well, now you've opened it, that's mail theft.
Martin: What's going on?
Frasier: Nothing. Just another piece of Cam Winston's mail has found its way into our box. It's been happening a lot since we switched mailboxes. Even after I gave the postman a stern lecture.
Martin: Especially after.
Quote from She's the Boss
Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
Quote from The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.