Martin Quote #601

Quote from Martin in Dial M for Martin

Martin: Boy, the floors around here are so slippery.
Niles: Yes, I, I just had them polished.
Martin: Well, I wish you would have told me, Eddie just slid into a wall and chipped a tooth. Now he whistles when he breathes.
Niles: Well, Dad, I can assure you there will be no slipping in here. Look, a brand new safety rail installed just for you. And, as requested, traction decals.
Martin: [leaning over the tub] Oh, I don't need to worry about falling in... [The rail collapses under the pressure of his hand.]
Niles: Oh, Dad, are you OK?
Martin: Wow, yeah. It's a good thing I wasn't in the shower, I could have cracked my head open.
Niles: Guess I'm not much of a handyman, am I?
Martin: You put this thing up yourself?
Niles: Yes, my contractor was out of town. Don't worry, you can use my bathroom to shower. Just let me know when you do. The plumbing's a bit temperamental and if I were to run the dishwasher, you might be horribly scalded.
Martin: You know, I took an extra long shower yesterday. You know, that oughta hold me.

Rate

 ‘Dial M for Martin’ Quotes

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: All right, just hold it. Nobody's canceling anything. For God's sake, the man just fell down a flight of stairs
today, he could hardly have been hurt worse stumbling in a carpeted hallway.
[The elevator door opens to reveal Rebecca, just as Frasier tries to lift Martin from the ground]
Frasier: Get up, ya big crybaby. No pain, no gain.
Martin: Oh, no, but it hurts!
Frasier: Oh, Dad, boo-hoo! I want you out of here! I don't care if you have to crawl like a bog turtle! ... Oh, Rebecca. I didn't see you standing there. Why don't you just step on over my father, help yourself to some wine?
Rebecca: What kind of a heartless bastard are you?
Frasier: Oh, no, Rebecca, you don't understand. It's not the way it looks. He's very resilient! He's been shot before!

Quote from Niles

Niles: I'm not interrupting anything personal, am I?
Roz: Yeah, Niles, we just eloped. I'm your new mom.
Niles: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.

Quote from Niles

Martin: [o.s] Niles, which wall should I hang my swordfish on?
Niles: None of them! I just had that room frescoed!