Niles Quote #158
Quote from Niles in Travels with Martin
Niles: I should have known this would happen. I always throw out my back when I try to lift Maris's luggage.
Daphne: Why didn't you hire a skycap?
Niles: Oh, we did for most of it, but Maris won't trust strangers with her makeup case, ever since a ham-handed porter dropped it and broke three vials of rare Swiss lamb placenta. On the upside, the calfskin lining of her case was never more soft and supple.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
‘Travels with Martin’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: Oh, I need a cup of tea.
Frasier: Tea!? Why don't you just wave a crumpet in the air and start singing, "God save the Queen"?
Quote from Daphne
Martin: Now, listen. On the off chance that the guard asks you a question, can you say anything in an American accent?
Daphne: [in an American accent] Sure.
Martin: Okay, what?
Daphne: You just heard it!
Martin: What?
Daphne: [in an American accent] "Sure." That's it. That's all I can say.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: So, how long do you figure it'll take us to get to Yellowstone?
Martin: Well, if we drive all night we'll be there tomorrow.
Frasier: Oh. It'll be a nice surprise for the two of them when they wake up in the morning.
Martin: Yeah. I've got a better surprise than that: let's tell Daphne we're in Mexico!