Frasier Quote #1092

Quote from Frasier in A Lilith Thanksgiving

Dr. Campbell: Ah, Dr. Sternin and Dr. Crane. Forgive me if I don't give you a big hello hug, but as you can see, I'm wearing this greasy apron. On top of which, I'm beginning to loathe the sight of both of you.
Lilith: All the more reason for us to be brief.
Dr. Campbell: Yes, I'm sure you'll be on your way, just as soon as you've found the cufflink given to you by Haile Selassie.
Lilith: No false pretense this time. We know that with so many qualified applicants and only one position open, that your decision must be very difficult.
Frasier: Yes. And so, in the spirit of the holidays, like Indians to your pilgrims' table, we bring this little bit of garnish, as it were, in the hopes that our relationship may flower.
Dr. Campbell: I'll have you know that, in twenty-two years, I have never accepted a bribe. I have to tell you, I find this utterly offensive. [He looks at the check] In every possible way. And now, if you don't mind, I have guests on the way. And a turkey so under-cooked, a skilled veterinarian could still save him.
Frasier: But, Dr. Campbell...
Dr. Campbell: Unless the rest of that sentence is "I have a fully cooked turkey in the breast pocket of that blazer," I'm afraid our conversation is at an end.

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 ‘A Lilith Thanksgiving’ Quotes

Quote from Niles

Lilith: Niles, I'm afraid with this interview, I'm running a little behind schedule. So, I'm enlisting you to help with the turkey.
Niles: Oh, well, I've never cooked a turkey before, but the recipe's here, I guess I can fumble my way through. How far along are you?
Lilith: I'm nearly done defrosting.
Niles: And the turkey?

Quote from Roz

Frasier: All right, now, when you mist the plants, be sure that the water is not too cold. I know I'm harping on and on about this, but I know you're not used to dealing with delicate flowers.
Roz: I've produced your show for three years, haven't I?

Quote from Niles

Martin: Why does Lilith have to tag along anyway?
Frasier: Well, she just didn't want to spend the holiday alone. Her husband is off in New Zealand, exploring a volcano.
Martin: Why couldn't she go with him?
Niles: Well, because if she accidentally fell in, the shock wave from the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually crack the Earth in two.
Frasier: As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze Mercury.
Martin: Guys, let it go. Nobody's going to win this one.