Frasier Quote #794
Quote from Frasier in Frasier Grinch
Bob: "Doc, I'm at the airport, and I'm having a lot of trouble getting on the plane."
Frasier: Now, Bob, statistics prove that we're safer in the air than on the ground.
Bob: "No, no. That's not it. I'm supposed to be flying home to Newark for Christmas, but the flight the next gate over has a flight to Maui. I'm telling you, it's calling me, Doc."
Frasier: Well, why are you hesitant to go home?
Bob: "Because it's the same thing every year. I travel three thousand miles to sit down at the dinner table with my family, and what do we talk about? What's going on in out lives? No. Our hopes and dreams? No. We talk about the turkey. 'Boy, that's quite a bird.' 'Twenty-four pounder.' 'What time did you have to get up to put that in the oven, Ange?'"
Frasier: "Oh boy, that's moist. You must have been basting that bird all day."
Roz: "Are those walnuts in the stuffing?"
Frasier: "Oh god, I forgot to put the rolls in the oven." I guess what I'm trying to say, Bob, is that we're all in the same gravy boat.
Frasier: But you see, the important thing is that we spend time with our loved ones. Just think how you'd feel if you woke up tomorrow morning six thousand miles away from your home.
Bob: "Well, I tell ya, that really puts it in perspective, doc. I got a plane to catch."
Frasier: Mele Keleke Maka, Bob.
Features in the collection: I'm Listening.
Frasier Quotes
‘I'm Listening’
Quote from Frasier in Selling Out
Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.
Quote from Frasier in Here's Looking at You
Frasier: Hello, Doug, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
Doug: "Yeah, it's about my mother. She's getting on now and she doesn't have much of a life. I mean, she doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I mean, she literally hangs around the house all day. I mean, it is very frustrating."
Frasier: Doug, I'm sorry. Can we just go back for a second? You said your mother "literally" hangs around the house. I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine, but what you mean to say is she figuratively hangs around the house. To literally hang around the house you'd have to be a bat or a spider monkey. Now back to your problem.
Doug: "Do you mind if we stop while I tell you my pet peeve?"
Frasier: Oh, not at all.
Doug: "I hate it when intellectual pinheads with superiority complexes who nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help. That's what I've got a problem with."
Frasier: I think what he means is, "That is a thing with which he has a problem."
‘Frasier Grinch’ Quotes
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.
Quote from Roz
Bulldog: [indicating the mistletoe hanging from his hat] Hey, Roz. You know what's over my head?
Roz: Almost any clever remark?
Bulldog: What'd she mean by that?
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: I see you've been busy in the kitchen.
Daphne: Yeah. I'm bringing Grammy Moon's famous plum duff. It's a still flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag.
Martin: Who gets to lick the bag?
Daphne: No. You see, Grammy Moon had a secret ingredient. She'd soak it for hours in rum, then ignite it in a blinding flash. As soon as she came out of the kitchen with no eyebrows, we knew dessert was ready. You know, to this day the smell of burning hair puts me in the holiday spirit.