Niles Quote #205

Quote from Niles in My Coffee with Niles

Niles: What were you going to say?
Frasier: No, no. I'd rather not.
Niles: Well, there's no need to, I think I know what you were getting at. You've been wanting to ask me this for years. Did I marry Maris for the money? [Niles looks at Frasier. Frasier nods] I resent that! I did not marry Maris for the money. It was just a delightful bonus.
Frasier: So, you really do love her?
Niles: Of course I love her. But it's a different kind of love.
Frasier: You mean it's not human?
Niles: No. No, I mean it doesn't burn with the passion and intensity of a Tristan and Isolde. It's more comfortable, more familiar. Maris and I are old friends. We can spend an afternoon together - me at my jigsaw puzzle, she at her auto-harp - not a word spoken between us and be perfectly content.
Frasier: I'm told it was a lot like that near the end in the Hitler household.


Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.

‘The Maris Crane Files’

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner

Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.

 ‘My Coffee with Niles’ Quotes

Quote from Niles

Niles: Oh, I have no reason to be unhappy. I have my health, have a wonderful home, a beautiful wife- Did your eyebrow just move?
Frasier: I don't think so.
Niles: I have my practice. Although, lately, I've lost track of the ideals that led me to psychiatry in the first place.
Frasier: Hmm, yes.
Niles: Look who I'm talking to. Psychiatry's answer to the drive-through window.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: You know, I think about Roz's life and it makes me wonder about my own. I haven't been exactly burning up the social scene lately.
Niles: You'll find somebody.
Frasier: But what if I don't? What if I end up old and alone? I might have to buy a funny little dog and move in with Frederick. Well, I guess I don't need to worry about that for a while.
Niles: Frederick should start worrying about it.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: You're in a fine mood today!
Martin: Ah, and by the way you left a mess in the kitchen.
Frasier: I had a piece of toast.
Martin: Yeah, and you didn't use a plate like I asked you to. And you buttered it on the counter. I know because you left a bunch a crumbs and toast sweat there.
Niles: Toast sweat?
Frasier: Yes, yes. It's when you put a piece of hot toast on any surface, it tends to leave little droplets of dew behind. Haven't you heard Dad's lecture on the evils of toast sweat? It's the scourge of our times!