Frasier Quote #229
Quote from Frasier in The Show Where Lilith Comes Back
Hank: "So, Dr. Crane, I just don't know what to do about my weight. I've tried diet after diet, from the milkshakes three times a day to that scary bald-headed lady on TV. Nothing seems to work."
Frasier: Hank, listen to me. You've got to look inside yourself. There is a part of you that isn't being fed.
Hank: "Well, it certainly isn't my butt."
Frasier: Yes, well, I'm talking about your inner self. What isn't being fed there? Love, career, simple self-esteem? There are deeper issues at work here.
Hank: "So, so what do I do?"
Frasier: Well, I'd suggest extended therapy. Please stay on the line, and my producer Roz will refer you to the help you need. Roz, who's our next call?
Roz: We have someone on line one who disagrees with your advice to Hank.
Frasier: Ah, really? Hello, you're on the line.
Lilith: "Congratulations, Frasier, you've done it again. You've led another unsuspecting innocent down one of your dark, dead-end Freudian hallways."
Frasier: Lilith?
Lilith: "Overeating is very simply a behavioral problem caused by negative reinforcement. It can be cured quite readily by behavior modification."
Frasier: I see. Well, Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. This is my ex-wife, Lilith.
Lilith: "What do you mean by 'celebrity?'"
Frasier: Oh, they know you.
Features in the collection: I'm Listening.
‘I'm Listening’
Quote from Frasier in Selling Out
Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.
Quote from Frasier in Here's Looking at You
Frasier: Hello, Doug, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
Doug: "Yeah, it's about my mother. She's getting on now and she doesn't have much of a life. I mean, she doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I mean, she literally hangs around the house all day. I mean, it is very frustrating."
Frasier: Doug, I'm sorry. Can we just go back for a second? You said your mother "literally" hangs around the house. I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine, but what you mean to say is she figuratively hangs around the house. To literally hang around the house you'd have to be a bat or a spider monkey. Now back to your problem.
Doug: "Do you mind if we stop while I tell you my pet peeve?"
Frasier: Oh, not at all.
Doug: "I hate it when intellectual pinheads with superiority complexes who nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help. That's what I've got a problem with."
Frasier: I think what he means is, "That is a thing with which he has a problem."
‘The Show Where Lilith Comes Back’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: "I'm here for a convention, and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but much to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric Pez dispenser."
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Oh, my Lord. I've never had a throbbing like this!
Frasier: Daphne, um, this is my ex-wife, Dr. Lilith Sternin. Lilith, this is Daphne Moon, my dad's physical therapist.
Lilith: It's nice to meet you.
Daphne: An equal pleasure. [whispering to Frasier] When I shook hands with that woman, I lost all feeling in me arm.
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Martin, I'm especially delighted to see you here tonight.
Martin: [holding his cane closer] Oh, yeah?
Lilith: Oh, yes. Knowing as I do the history of your relationship with Frasier, when I heard that he'd taken you in, I immediately flipped to the weather channel to see if hell had indeed frozen over.
Martin: Frasier, how'd you let ever this little peach get away?