Woman in Hall: Why is that man crawling?
Man in Hall: That's Dr. Crane's brother.
Woman in Hall: Oh.

Roz: Oh, it's really sweet how you're trying to make all your gifts special. I'm sorry I've been so cranky, I'm just nervous about my mom coming. I'm sort of just dreading the big conversation where I finally tell her I'm pregnant.
Frasier: You mean you haven't told her yet?
Roz: No, it's just not the type of thing you blurt out over the phone.

Roz: And on top of all that, I can't stop thinking about my mom. How am I going to tell her?
Frasier: Well, Roz, if you'd like, I could tell her for you.
Roz: Are you kidding? She's gonna be mad enough that I waited three months to tell her, the only thing worse would be to hear it from someone else.
Frasier: Well, it's entirely possible she already knows.
Roz: No way, the only person who knows she's spoken to is you- Oh, my God! Frasier!
Frasier: [as Santa, welcoming the first child:] Okay. Ho-ho-ho, who's first?
Roz: What is wrong with you? I'm going to kill you!
Girl: You're going to kill Santa?
Frasier: No, little girl, Mrs. Claus just wants to kiss me.
Roz: Yeah, I'll kiss you. Come 'ere, I'll kiss you good!

Frasier: Roz, don't go. Come on, look, I'm sorry about what happened, but it was a mistake, you can't stay mad at me.
Roz: I still have to face my mother tomorrow.
Frasier: Well, we can talk about that. Come on in. Please, come in? Look, how would it look if I turned a pregnant lady away on Christmas Eve when there's so much room here at the inn?

Martin: You know the only part about Christmas I don't like? How quickly it's all over.
Frasier: Yes. Come December 26th, it's all just a memory. With nothing but your light decorating touch to remind us.

[in Martin's perspective:]
Niles: Oh! That's awfully dangerous, Daphne, standing there under that mistletoe.
Frasier: That's enough eggnog, Niles.

Daphne: You know, the oddest thing just happened. I was walking Eddie past that church over on Chestnut. And he turned to go inside, like he assumed that was where we were going.
Frasier: That's strange. He did exactly the same thing with me yesterday when I was walking him.
Daphne: Any idea why he would do that, Mr. Crane?
Martin: Look, that dog's always doing weird things. Yesterday, when we were taking our bath together, Eddie spent fifteen straight minutes pushing the soap around with his nose like an otter. It's weird.
Frasier: Yes, if he gets any weirder, we'll have to send "Eddie" to a home.

Frasier: Well, I'm off, I've got all my Christmas shopping to do yet.
Martin: All of it?
Frasier: Yes, well, I'm determined not to settle this year. I want my gifts to be remembered and cherished long after the holidays.
Martin: Well, you know, nothing is cherished quite so much as the gift of laughter.
Frasier: If you want that "Highway Patrol Bloopers" tape, you're gonna have to buy it yourself.

Martin: Listen Frasier, before you go, can I talk to you for a minute?
Frasier: Well sure, what is it?
Martin: Well, you know what Daphne was talking about? There is a reason Eddie knows that church. I've been taking him there.
Frasier: I guess the family that bathes together prays together.

Martin: But there's this priest, Father Curtis, he got to know Eddie in the park and he asked if they could use him for the Christmas pageant and I said sure. Well, the next thing I know, he's roped me in to play a shepherd. Well then, Dutch Gansvort comes down with bronchitis and I get promoted to a wise man.
Frasier: Dad, is there a point to this story looming somewhere on the horizon?