‘My Fair Frasier’
Season 5, Episode 7 - Aired November 25, 1997
When a woman comes to Frasier's aid as he tries to return a gift at a department store, he ends up starting a relationship with a high-profile lawyer.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: Don't let him shake your confidence. You'll be fine. Maybe she's had her fare of attractive men and is ready for a change.
Frasier: Aren't I lucky?! Normally a forest troll like me has to trick a woman to get a date.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: No, all I'm saying is, I once dated a man who'd gone out with several of the top British actresses but got sick of their vanity and insecurity.
Frasier: So there, you see, it does happen.
Daphne: Of course, after he got through slumming, he dumped me and went back to actresses. He did get me an autographed picture of Helena Bonham Carter. She's riding a pony!
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Well, someone has a special evening planned.
Frasier: As a matter of fact, I do. What tipped you off? My incredible self-confident air?
Daphne: No, your silver collar pin. You only wear it when you've got a hot date. Good work getting all the tarnish off, it showed up quite nicely.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: So, who's the lucky lady?
Frasier: Her name is Samantha Pierce, we just met yesterday. She recognized me from my radio show. You know what, in fact, when I asked her out, I sensed a bit of shyness which made me wonder if she was perhaps intimidated by my fame.
Martin: Did you say Samantha Pierce?
Frasier: Yeah, dad.
Martin: Short blonde hair, blue eyes?
Frasier: Right, how would you know that?
Martin: She's on "Larry King"!
Quote from Frasier
Sam: I hope this doesn't offend you, but I've had the most stressful day and I really don't have the energy to make a lot of small talk. Plus, I'm not very hungry. Would you mind terribly-
Frasier: I think I know where this is headed. You don't have to say.
Sam: Frasier, can we just go someplace and have sex?
Frasier: Well, that, you did have to say.
Quote from Frasier
Sam: I'm sorry if that sounded forward, but it's the only thing I really want to do right now.
Frasier: Well, I'm flattered and the thought is very tempting, but you see on my show, I'm constantly preaching that people should get to know one another, have things in common, before taking that kind of step. What's your favorite color?
Sam: Blue.
Frasier: Mine, too. Check, please.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: All right, now, I want you to taste this, tell me what you think.
Sam: Mmm, that's spectacular. Where did you learn how to do that?
Frasier: That's just a little something I picked up as a child at sauce camp.
Quote from Frasier
Sam: I suppose you know what I'm about to say.
Frasier: You wanna skip dinner again and go straight to sex?
Sam: I'm sorry, Frasier, I really am. And you went to all this trouble.
Frasier: It's all right. You know fine French cooking, it's always better after a night in the fridge.
Quote from Frasier
Vanessa: So, how long have you and Sam been seeing each other?
Frasier: Well, actually, just about three weeks. We haven't really been able to get much time together, but she assures me that'll all change as soon as the...
All: ...trial is over! [laugh]
Jennifer: There's always another trial, but you'll get used to the life. Dates getting cancelled, dinners left uneaten, but at least you'll get sent plenty of flowers.
Cindy: Oh, Jennifer, he's a man, he won't get flowers.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Well, er, look, I'm not one to get bogged down in male/female role playing. It's just that lately, well... Take our first date. We'd barely begun dinner when you suggested that we run off and go to bed together. Well, traditionally that is... Well, every man's dream. Okay, bad example. But then, there's the way that you cancel dates all the time and say you'll call and you don't call, and then you have your secretary send me a gift and then when I get upset about it, you think you can buy we off with flowers.
Sam: Is that it? That's what you dragged me out here for? I'm in the middle of the most intense case of my entire career, a man's life hangs in the balance and you're whining about flowers?
Frasier: Well, I think whining's a little strong.
Sam: Well. Well, tell me what you mean, Frasier. I mean, if you're the one who has to work late hours and is breaking all the dates and is sending flowers and gifts, would that be okay?
Frasier: No, no, it's....
Sam: Well, good God! You're a psychiatrist, shouldn't you be above all of this?
Frasier: Look, I'm just telling you how I feel and now you're yelling at me.
Sam: Well, just tell me what you want, Frasier. Do you want to be the traditional man, and I'll be the put-upon woman?
Frasier: No. That's not what I want. I just wish that we could have a relationship where neither one of us is the man.
Sam: So, that would make us, what? A lesbian couple?
Frasier: Well, they're very in now.