Frasier: All right, Bebe, just follow my lead. I'll introduce us and then I'll get to our guests, all right? Wasn't our first guest Susan Sontag?
Bebe: She had a conflict. Don't worry, we've got a fabulous replacement.
Frasier: "Baby Leo, the world's biggest two year-old"?!
Bebe: You're gonna love him. Just remember to lift with your legs.
Frasier: That's it! This is unacceptable.
Bebe: Oh, now who's the world's biggest baby?

Niles: Oh, I'm just wasting my breath. As usual you have fallen under the spell of that sorceress out there.
Frasier: I have done no such thing. I wish you would just lay off of Bebe. You know, she is not some malign witch who can transform people at will!
[Martin enters wearing his new glasses with Daphne's handbag on his arm]
Martin: I can't find a damn thing in this purse.
Niles: If I say I'm sorry, will she change Dad back into a man?

Bebe: Now, let's talk about today's show.
Frasier: Right.
Bebe: We start with the Friday Fiesta, here are our costumes and then we move on to the Girl Scout cookie-selling champ... [tearing up] and then we...
Frasier: Bebe, are you all right?
Bebe: I spent my life in the wing. It was just nice having my moment in the spotlight. The rush when that little red light on camera turns on. The stupid masking tape on that dressing room door with my name on it.
Frasier: The stage door johnnies, or whatever that strange man with the autograph book calls himself...
Bebe: Admit it, darling. You want this as much as I do. I saw it in your eyes during the pie-eating contest. Nobody loves blueberries that much. It's the audience you love!

Frasier: Oh, there she is, the other half of our team. Roz, are you still as jazzed as I am?
Roz: They're taking us off the air.
Frasier: What? Since when?
Roz: Well, while you were out looking for Gatorade to pour over yourself, Kenny came by and said he's yanking us for a week. He wants to try out that new show. You know, "Car Chat with Bob and Bethany."
Frasier: "Car Chat with Bob and Bethany," what the... Oh, touché, Kenny. You are indeed a worthy adversary but you shall find I have a trick or two of my own! [laughs]
Daphne: You know, Dr. Crane, maybe a week off would do you some good.

Frasier: Well, of course I'm right. Bob and Bethany, car chat. Please! I mean how can anyone drone on for three hours about a subject that nobody even understands?
Roz: Yeah. We were there first.

Frasier: Oh, hi, Dad.
Martin: Boy, they really did a job in the men's room, didn't they?
Frasier: Oh, I hadn't noticed.
Martin: Oh, yeah. Completely re-did it. Fancy wallpapers, bright new tiles, even those little perfumed soaps that you like to use at home, Fras.
Daphne: Oh, for heaven's sakes. You went into the ladies room, you blind old sod. I've been begging him for months to get glasses.
Martin: Ladies room? You're crazy, that guy was just in there.
Frasier: [calls over to the woman] Oh, hi, Bethany. Listen, good luck in the slot next week.
Bethany: Thanks, we're pumped. [exits]

Daphne: Hi, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh, hello, Daphne. Say, you know my agent, Bebe, said she might be stopping by. Have you heard anything?
Daphne: No, and I hope she's not staying for lunch, I'm afraid we're fresh out of live mice.

Martin: So, how do you like the new specs?
Frasier: They certainly are eye-catching.
Martin: Yeah. You should have seen the looks I got all day. Mostly from women. You know, I'd like to think it was me but I've got an idea that these frames were designed with an eye to pleasing the ladies.
Frasier: I'd say that's a safe assumption.

Frasier: I'm amazed you could keep a straight face all day.
Daphne: Well, I've done enough clothes shopping with your father. [doorbell rings] I'm pretty good at pretending to like things, no matter how horrifying I find them. [opens the door to Bebe] Bebe, how nice to see you.

Bebe: Frasier, my favorite client, Seattle's golden-throated gift to the airwaves.
Frasier: So, I take it negotiations aren't going so well?
Bebe: You remember that insulting figure you said you'd never accept?
Frasier: Uh-huh.
Bebe: They haven't come up to it yet.
Frasier: Oh, dear.