A collection of quotes featuring the best calls to Dr. Frasier Crane's radio show.
Bob: "Doc, I'm at the airport, and I'm having a lot of trouble getting on the plane."
Frasier: Now, Bob, statistics prove that we're safer in the air than on the ground.
Bob: "No, no. That's not it. I'm supposed to be flying home to Newark for Christmas, but the flight the next gate over has a flight to Maui. I'm telling you, it's calling me, Doc."
Frasier: Well, why are you hesitant to go home?
Bob: "Because it's the same thing every year. I travel three thousand miles to sit down at the dinner table with my family, and what do we talk about? What's going on in out lives? No. Our hopes and dreams? No. We talk about the turkey. 'Boy, that's quite a bird.' 'Twenty-four pounder.' 'What time did you have to get up to put that in the oven, Ange?'"
Frasier: "Oh boy, that's moist. You must have been basting that bird all day."
Roz: "Are those walnuts in the stuffing?"
Frasier: "Oh god, I forgot to put the rolls in the oven." I guess what I'm trying to say, Bob, is that we're all in the same gravy boat.
Frasier: But you see, the important thing is that we spend time with our loved ones. Just think how you'd feel if you woke up tomorrow morning six thousand miles away from your home.
Bob: "Well, I tell ya, that really puts it in perspective, doc. I got a plane to catch."
Frasier: Mele Keleke Maka, Bob.
Frasier: Hi, we're back. Roz tells me we have Chester on the line. Hello, Chester. How can I help you?
Chester: "I don't know. I've had a lot of fights with my wife lately. She feels I'm just wasting my life, standing still-"
Frasier: Spinning your wheels?
Chester: "Huh? I don't follow."
Frasier: Chester, I'm afraid this problem might be just a little too complex for the few seconds we have remaining. Uh, why don't you try to call us back tomorrow, I'll make sure that you get on first thing.
Chester: "Gee, it's awful tough to get through."
Frasier: Well, I'll tell you what, hang tight and when I get off the air I'll pick up and try to help you then.
Chester: "Take your time."