‘Hot Ticket’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 15, 1998
Frasier and Niles can't bear the disappointment of not seeing the hottest new play, unless it means being seen in the cancellation line.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Dad, you don't understand. You see, this isn't just about the play. This is literally our last opportunity to see one of the finest actors of our time.
Martin: You just want to go 'cause all your snobby friends are going and you don't want to feel left out.
Niles: What we want is to sit at a theater and share a transcendent experience.
Martin: That nobody else could get tickets to.
Frasier: Of course. That's the transcendent part.
Quote from Niles
Niles: This is hopeless.
Frasier: Niles, there is another way.
Niles: You don't mean...
Frasier: Yes. I know it's a calculated risk. It is a little uncertain.
Niles: You can't be serious. It's unthinkable.
Frasier: Niles, what other choice do we have?
Niles: But the indignity, it reeks of desperation.
Martin: Now, now, before you do anything desperate, at least go and stand in the cancellation line.
Niles: What did he think we were talking about?
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Roz. What are you doing here?
Niles: And how did you get tickets?
Roz: Oh, a friend of mine couldn't use hers, so she gave them to me. I asked my cute new dentist, he's a big fan of Sir What's-his-face.
Frasier: You refer to the world's greatest living actor as...
Niles: Now, now, now, Frasier. Roz may not be familiar with Sir Trevor, but I'm sure she'll enjoy the play. I trust you got good seats?
Roz: Ooh. I think so. [looking at the tickets] Row C?
Niles: Row C. Excellent. Oh, look, a whole bunch of naked men. [As Roz turns to glance, Niles tries to nab her tickets]
Roz: What are you doing?
Niles: Give me those, you philistine. You don't even know his name.
Quote from Niles
Trevor: What did you think of the hat scene?
Niles: The hat scene? Well, you know, the most important thing about the hat scene, and I have to stress this- Oh, dear God, is that clock right? I have to call the sitter and tell her I'm going to be late. The children worry so.
Quote from Frasier
Trevor: Oh, please. Dr. Crane, I just want your professional analysis of what you saw tonight.
Frasier: Well, it, uh... Of course I could discuss subtext, metaphor and imagery with you, but you see, I, I come to the theater to feel. To be moved, and that is exactly what happened to me tonight.
Trevor: Really? When?
Frasier: When? Well, let me see. Uh, um, well, there was that, uh, the gutting the fish scene. You make the most heart-breaking gesture. It was, uh, you know, the one with, with your hands... Your... [He motions vaguely.]
Trevor: Oh, you mean when I offer the fish to my son and he turns his back to me and I reach out to him like this?
Frasier: Yes, it's even more moving the second time. Well, who knows why a, a moment like that touches us so. But, you see, that is your gift, Sir Trevor. You've given us hundreds of moments. Moments so real, so compelling that we are revealed in their truth.
Quote from Niles
Trevor: You don't know how refreshing this is. To meet someone who doesn't just come to the theater, but who gives himself over to it. That crowd in there, they only come because it's fashionable. They don't care about art. I can spot them at a glance. The poseur, the fraud. Oh, here comes your brother.
Niles: Kids are fine.
Trevor: Oh.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Well, how's that for irony?
Niles: Sunday brunch at the Kendalls'. An hour ago we would have leapt at that invitation.
Frasier: Not anymore. We've got a damned sight too much integrity. Although... are we being selfish?
Niles: Possibly. How?
Frasier: Here's my thinking. Why do shallow people remain that way? The lack of positive influence.
Niles: Perhaps our brand of integrity is just what that group needs.
Frasier: Yes! We can be like those politicians who try to change the system from within.
Niles: Exactly. And who knows? Maybe it'll rub off on Senator Logan, who'll bring it back with him to Washington.
Frasier: Well, now we have to go.
Niles: What are you wearing?
Frasier: I'm going to wear my new Prada suit.
Niles: Oh, you're a fashion plate and a patriot.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Well, surely you must hold some tickets aside for emergencies. We'll take anything, anything at all.
Frasier: Yes, yes, even mezzanine.
Quote from Niles
Niles: How could this happen? I have to see this play. I have to have people see me see this play. If I'm not seen seeing this play, you see-
Frasier: Niles!
Quote from Niles
Niles: Come on, let's go. The last thing I need is for someone to see us loitering out here like gutter riff-raff pathetically scrounging for last minute tickets.
Frasier: [to the assembled crowd in the cancellation line] Good luck!