Martin: What'd you have to talk about all that stuff for?
Niles: I was just saying what you were already thinking. You did the right thing and you're not gonna to regret it.
Martin: Yeah, well how am I going to tell Donny I just sat here and watched them walk by and get in the car?
Niles: You'll tell him proudly because you know in your heart of hearts...
Martin: Whoa. They backed into your Mercedes!
Niles: I don't believe it! They're not even leaving a note. They're driving away.
Martin: Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Niles. They're probably racked with grief and it'll spur them on to ever-greater...
Niles: Oh, shut up and take their picture. Hurry up and get their license number. Hurry! Hurry!

Roz: OK, wise guy, what was your longest relationship?
Frasier: Oh, that's easy, Lilith. Although... [he laughs]
Roz: What?
Frasier: Well, if we're not talking romantic relationship, well, then uh, my longest relationship with a woman would be you. Seven years.
Roz: Loser! [They laugh] Seven years.

Frasier: Oh, hello, Daphne, Niles.
Niles: Hello, Frasier.
Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane. I see you've grown yourself a crumb-catcher.
Frasier: Oh, please. Spare me your jocular euphemisms. I've heard them all from Freddy: my chin-sweater, my face-fuzz, my hickey-hider.

Frasier: Oh no, Roz. I just got back from Boston, for God's sake. You know, maybe I could just drive up tomorrow and attend the panels.
Roz: No, Frasier, tonight's reception's the most important part. It sets the tone for the whole weekend.
Frasier: Oh, come on. Last year everybody just got drunk and acted like a bunch of horny teenagers.
Roz: Exactly. So stop yakkin' and start packin'!
Niles: Well, you know, it could be just the relief you need after a long week with Lilith and Le Pretzel Boy.

Frasier: You know, come to think of it, there was one really gorgeous blonde up there: Rush Hour Rita, Laramie's Eye in the Sky.
Roz: Yeah, I remember her. The traffic was bumper to bumper outside her room.

Roz: Oh, it's just that I am so sick of men becoming panting idiots just at the sight of blonde hair.
Niles: That is a bit of an oversimplification, Roz.
Frasier: Don't be ridiculous. It's insulting, Roz. For God's sake, I mean, every man's taste is different.
Roz: Sorry, it's just that I met this guy at Nervosa today for coffee and it was very annoying. Every time I tried to say anything, this blonde waitress would walk by...
Martin: Oh, Mimi's back?
Frasier: Oh, that's good news.
Niles: Gotta stop in and see Mimi.

Frasier: You know, I guess I better get packing!
Martin: What're you talking about? You got your bags right there.
Frasier: No, Dad, these are my "Daddy" clothes. I have to go and pack my "Come to Daddy" clothes.

Donny: Yeah, but you should see this girlfriend: leggy, blonde...
Niles: [to Roz] Oh, well, blonde. That explains it.
Roz: Goodbye.
Niles: I'm sorry.

Donny: Hey, wait a minute. Marty? You were a cop, right? You must've done surveillance.
Martin: Oh, sure, all the time.
Donny: Well, why don't you work for me tonight? It's forty-five bucks an hour.
Niles: Oh, I don't think Dad would want to do that.
Martin: Forty-five bucks?
Donny: All right, fifty. But if you get a picture of Redmond and the girl, then it's a five hundred dollar bonus.
Martin: Five hundred dollars?
Donny: All right, seven hundred, you're killing me.

Martin: I'm an ex-cop, remember?
Niles: Yeah, yeah, I know you're an ex-cop. Let's just examine this, Dad...
Martin: No, no, no. Let's just forget about it. I'm not gonna listen to this all night. I just won't do it, are you satisfied?
Niles: Yes. Thank you. Donny, I'm sorry to put a crimp in your plans.
Donny: No, that's all right. I'm sure I'll find somebody else. [after Niles leaves] You're still doing it, right?
Martin: Hell, yes.