‘Fraternal Schwinns’
Season 10, Episode 16 - Aired February 25, 2003
When KACL hosts a charity bike-a-thon, Frasier and Niles decide it's finally time to learn how to ride a bicycle.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: We never learned.
Martin: I tried teaching 'em, but I had to take them to the hospital so many times, social services started sniffing around.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: And who knows? Maybe this is just be the beginning. There are still mountains to conquer. The diving board, for instance.
Frasier: Or cartwheels.
Martin: Be careful out there, son.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Frasier. Remember, keep your eye on the road and don't fixate on anything you can crash into.
Frasier: Right!
Niles: Good luck!
Julia: Boy, I hope I can steer around that big mailbox right there. Ciao.
Quote from Gertrude
Daphne: Niles, why don't we enter the Bike-A-Thon?
Frasier: [to Niles] You had to see that coming.
Daphne: We can all go to the shop together, after the flower show.
Niles: Sure, why not.
Gertrude: Oh, you two would look so cute on matching bicycles.
Niles: I guess it would be a kick, eh Frasier?
Gertrude: Not you two, ya nit! You and Daphne.
Quote from Gertrude
Gertrude: You know, I spotted a couple of bikes in the storage room, behind the furnace. Perhaps you could borrow those.
Niles: No, I don't think so. The theft has soured me on the whole bike experience. And what were you doing behind the furnace anyway?
Gertrude: Drinking.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Gosh, it's been such fun talking about psycho-pharmacological solutions to maladaptive personality traits that I can't believe the three hours is almost gone.
Quote from Frasier
Kenny: So, Bike-A-Thon, you're in, right?
Julia: Nah, I can't be bothered. I'll just send a check.
Kenny: Oh, cheese and rice, what's wrong with you people?
Julia: Relax, Kenny. I'm just pulling your leg. How can I not go? This is funding AIDS research, for God's sake. I know you think I'm heartless and self centered, but at least give me credit for being human.
Kenny: Well, Frasier's not goin'.
Frasier: What? [chuckling] Kenny, come on. I was pulling your leg, too. I tell you what, we should have a fund raiser for your sense of humor. All right, I'll see you there.
Roz: [as Frasier enters her booth] You're pathetic.
Frasier: I know.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Oh, geez, that was Daphne's mother. She had a thing for me, but it was never mutual. Did she show you a badge? Always ask to see a badge.
Cora: I knew she wasn't a secret agent. But she was pretty convincing about the two of you.
Quote from Martin
Martin: You!
Gertrude: Hello.
Martin: I just had a very interesting discussion with Cora Winston. Seems someone claiming to be my girlfriend scared her off.
Gertrude: Oh dear. Is she the woman from the bookstore?
Martin: No. ... The bookstore?
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Call me crazy, but I like a bouncy tire.
Frasier: Two bouncy tires and a...taut chain. That's good ridin'.
Niles: Where did you learn all that? That was really good.
Frasier: Just a matter of confidence, Niles.