Frasier: No thanks, you guys go ahead.
Daphne: You'll be okay, won't you?
Frasier: Ah, yes, I'll be just fine.
Martin: Why don't I just stay here to keep you company?
Frasier: No, really Dad, I'm fine.
Martin: You sure?
Frasier: Yes. In fact, I'm...I'm better than I've been in quite some time. Mainly because of one very important thing I learned-
Martin: Great. Let's roll.

Frasier: Roz, who's our next caller?
Roz: We have Marco on line two. He's having problems with his relationship.
Frasier: Hello, Marco, I'm listening.
Marco: "Well, I started seeing this woman two years ago. I think it was two years. It was around Thanksgiving. Yeah, the leaves were off the trees and-"
Frasier: Close enough. What is your problem?
Marco: "Well, it's not really my problem, it's more like her problem. She keeps pressing me for a commitment."
Frasier: What's holding you back?
Marco: "I don't know. I just- I guess I just want to keep my options open, you know, in case somebody better comes along."
Frasier: "Somebody better comes along." "Somebody better comes along!" Marco, Marco, Marco. Do you hear yourself?
Marco: "No, I turned my radio off after you blasted that other guy."
Frasier: Well, listen, I suggest you give your motives a thorough examination, and if you can't commit, it's best for both of you to break it off.
Marco: "Yeah?"
Frasier: Yeah! Thank you for your call.

Frasier: Well, you know, relationships don't always have to be so hard. I remember back in med school, I heard of a documented case where a man and a woman met, got along, and actually lived happily ever after.

Frasier: Damn it! I just put a dent in my front bumper when I pulled into my parking space. Does anybody know what happened to that tennis ball I hung over my space so I wouldn't pull up too far?
[Eddie walks by with a tennis ball in his mouth, drops it at Frasier's feet]
Martin: He was bored. He needed a toy. Hey, go ahead and throw it, he'll run and get it for you.
[Frasier throws the tennis ball off the balcony]
Martin: He didn't think that was funny and he knows where you sleep.

Niles: Oh, well, you might try looking at it from Dad's point of view. As a policeman, he was in a position of authority and that's been taken away from him. Railing against the world is his way of controlling his ever-shrinking sphere of influence.
Frasier: Yes, well, I do empathize with him. It's just- I just can't help wishing I could just kick that cane out from under him once in a while. And that he would land on Eddie.

Frasier: Niles, why is it so important to you? You and Maris are wallowing in money like a couple of yuppie hogs.

Frasier: You buy into an investment group, Eddie, you don't know!

Keith: "I got to disagree with your last two callers. I'm in the same line of work, and I think that what we do is very important. People depend on us. [bell dings] I got to go, Doc, it's time to powder the jelly donuts."
Frasier: Well, I hate to cut short this enthralling symposium, but perhaps we could hear from some non-bakers for a change?
Roz: Wrap it up, will you? We're finally done.
Frasier: Oh, thank God. Stay tuned for the news, weather, and sports. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, yadda, yadda, yadda, bye.

Frasier: Well, it's not as if we were standing side-by-side when she chose you. I was at the bar. If you'd gone to get the drinks, things would have been different.
Martin: I don't think so.
Frasier: Dad, I'm drowning here. Please, throw me a line.

Dr. Shaw: Well, I have my diagnosis.
Frasier: Finally, the white smoke.