Frasier: Oh lord, that'll be the new therapist.
Martin: Oh, lucky me.
Frasier: Oh now, behave yourself, Dad. It's only until Daphne comes back. And besides, you have no idea how difficult it is to find a therapist who can also cook. Her name is Frederika.
Martin: Oh, sounds German. You know what that means, she was probably kicked off the shotput team for using steroids.
Frasier: Now Dad, the Germans never threw anybody off the team for that.

Frasier: [answering the phone] Hello? Oh yes, thank you for returning my call, Brother Peabody. Yes, well, I'm just wondering, how come none of the members have been calling my wine show? [shocked] No! Well, just because Niles is Corkmaster, it doesn't mean he has the right to dictate whom you may and may not call. Good lord, the man is my own brother. How can someone turn his back on his own flesh and blood- [Martin screams in agony] Someone on the phone here.

Niles: Former Brother Crane, what are you doing here?
Frasier: You know very well. How dare you instruct the members not to call in to my radio show?
Niles: I simply directed their attention to Law 10-C, which states that the club "shall not, through contract or deed, endorse-"
Frasier: "Any commercial endeavor," yes, yes. Niles, you can hide behind some flimsy bylaw if you wish to for as long as you like, but we both know the subtext behind this pretext, vindictiveness.
Niles: Oh.
Frasier: In light of this abuse of power, I move that the Corkmaster be stripped of his title. And that some more well-deserving member be named in his stead.
Niles: Oh, the motion fails for lack of a second.
Reynolds: Second.
Niles: Stop that. Motion denied.

Frasier: Anything good on TV tonight?
Martin: I don't know, why?
Frasier: Oh, got the night free. Thought we might hang out together.
Martin: Oh. That's nice.
Frasier: Yeah, I usually have wine club on Wednesday nights.
Martin: Oh.
Frasier: What do you usually do Wednesday nights?
Martin: Oh, just sit back, enjoy the silence.

Frasier: All right, all right, let's talk about something else. How's your physical therapy?
Martin: Oh, it was the most painful afternoon of my life. She did things to me. Bad things.

Frederika: How is everything?
Frasier: Oh gosh, Frederika, I've never tasted anything so divine.
Frederika: Oh, ja, you see, Dr. Crane, I don't believe that fitness depends on starving yourself. The secret is exercise, hard work, then good food and lots of it when you've earned it.
Frasier: Oh well, this is fabulous food-
[As Frasier reaches for a bite from Martin's plate, Frederika slaps his hand away]
Frederika: You haven't earned it! [laughing] That's just my way of having fun. Of course, you're welcome, I'll get another plate.

Martin: We ought to get Niles over here, you know? He'd love this stuff.
Frasier: Niles? Dad, I told you Niles is no longer welcome in this house. [Frederika brings him a plate] Thank you, Frederika.
Martin: Oh, son, why don't you just ask your brother to take you back?
Frasier: I did. I called him and I apologized. He would hear none of it. All he did was keep quoting rules and bylaws.
Martin: It's just like when you were kids with that fort. You were always making up these big fancy rules and titles for yourself that always ended up in a fight. I didn't like it then, and I don't like it now.
Frasier: All right, Dad, then we just won't talk about it. Besides, I'm through with wine club.
Martin: Good. Why don't we just enjoy our Wednesday?
Frasier: Second. [to himself] All in favor... aye... motion carried. [Martin glares at Frasier] I'm done now.

Niles: Uh, well, let's get back to the wine, shall we?
Reynolds: You got yelled at by your dad.
Niles: Well, be that as it may-
Endicott: Zip it!