Frasier: Niles, Niles, Niles. Listen, calm down. Now listen, this may even be for the best. You said you wanted to take the next step.
Niles: Next step? I was just hurled down the entire flight of stairs.

Daphne: So, who is she?
Niles: Who?
Daphne: Well, this woman you're so in love with. Who is she?
Niles: You didn't hear that part, did you?
Daphne: No, so come on. What's her name? You can't back out now.
Niles: No, you're right, I can't. Well, okay, her name. Well, her name just happens to be Da...Phyllis.
Daphne: Oh, I've never heard that name. DaPhyllis.
Niles: It's a family name. Her friends call her "Phyllis." Excuse me.

Frasier: What the hell is going on?
Niles: All she heard was that I was in love with someone. She never heard who. And when she asked, I panicked and blurted out the first name that popped into my head, Phyllis.
Frasier: Phyllis?
Niles: It's a neighbor I saw on the elevator this morning. The woman had a sesame seed stuck between her front teeth. It was the size of a blanched almond.
Frasier: Oh, good lord.
Niles: Maybe it was a blanched almond. If she had Muselix for breakfast it could have been-
Frasier: Niles, stop!

Daphne: Oh, I'm very excited for you. I just love first dates.
Niles: I don't see why. They're always so awkward.
Daphne: Yeah, but once in a while, when the chemistry's just right, they can be magical. The "me, too's" as you realize all you have in common. The electricity of that first accidental touch. Soon, you're letting your guard down and saying the silliest things.
[They both reach for paper towels and accidentally touch hands]
Niles: Oh, sorry. You touched me, now we have to get married.

Niles: Frasier. I thought you were supposed to be at a wake.
Frasier: We left. Even the mourners were babbling about the mini-series.

Daphne: Hello. You must be Phyllis!
Phyllis: Yes. Do I know you?
Daphne: I'm Daphne. I'm just a friend. Make yourself comfortable. We were starting to worry about you.
Phyllis: Excuse me?
Daphne: Can I get you a glass of wine?
Phyllis: Well, all right, I guess. I mean I really just came by to drop off...
Daphne: I'll be back in a snap. [She goes into the kitchen.]
Phyllis: That woman seemed to think that you were expecting me.
Niles: Yes, I've been making an effort to meet my neighbors, and I guess you didn't get the invitation.
Phyllis: No. It's just dumb luck that I happened to stop by tonight.
Daphne: Here we are. Now, the appetizers are almost ready, and it won't be too much longer before the roast is done. I hope you're hungry.
Phyllis: Oh, the invitation was for dinner?
Niles: Yes, but don't you worry about it a bit, we'll do it another time.
Phyllis: Well, I'd love to stay.

Martin: Oh, hi! How ya doin'? Marty Crane.
Phyllis: Hi, I'm Phyllis Conrad.
Martin: Oh, ho, ho. You're Phyllis, huh?
Daphne: Don't worry, we'll be going soon. I know Dr. Crane's eager to have you all to himself.
Phyllis: Really?
Martin: Oh, yeah, he's been going on about you all week.
Niles: Now, Dad.
Martin: How pretty you are, how nice you dress.
Niles: Dad, you don't want to be late for your kegger.
Martin: Look at him. I've embarrassed him. He's blushing!
Phyllis: He's not the only one.

Daphne: Now remember, the pie should be heated, and there's fresh whipped cream to put on the strawberries. Or anything else if the night should take that turn.

Daphne: It's as clear as day, now. You're just not ready for a relationship, and there I was pushing you into it
Niles: Daphne.
Daphne: Even I could see how uncomfortable you were with Phyllis. Well, she must have picked up on that, too, and that's the real reason she left. What was I thinking?
Niles: No, Daphne, this is not your fault.
Daphne: Yes, but I should have seen. You're on the rebound, you're still vulnerable. That's probably why you had so much trouble asking for a simple date in the first place.
Niles: Yes, I- I suppose you're right.
Daphne: I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane, I guess you just need to take some more time. You know, if you rush things you may end up ruining something that has a real chance. No smart woman would ever get involved with a man that's in the middle of a divorce, anyway. I know I never would.
Niles: Well, thank you, Daphne. This has all been very helpful. And thank you for everything you did tonight, even if it didn't work out exactly as I'd hoped.