Donny: I left some papers in the car.
Niles: Oh, where'd you park?
Donny: Out back!
Niles: Ah, then it's best to go through the kitchen because we have a loose plank on the porch.
Donny: I already came in that way.
Niles: Yeah, well you cheated death once, don't push your luck!

Niles: They're not going to see Donny, because you're going to invite him to watch the sunset down by the lake, you're going to continue to work his charms on him, and then you're going to invite him out to dinner, and who knows where that'll lead? [laughs] Well, what am I saying, we both know where that'll lead.

Niles: Frasier, what are you doing back so soon?
Frasier: I came back for some more ammo. Who knew ducks were so shifty?

Frasier: Daphne!
Daphne: I'm sorry, did I startle you?
Frasier: No, no, no, no. That's quite alright. It's just that if Niles knew you were here he would never... Well, forgive
himself for not being here to greet you.

Daphne: Oh, he wasn't expecting me. Me plans changed and I thought I'd drive up and join you all.
Frasier: Oh, well isn't that nice? You've got to leave!
Daphne: Why?
Frasier: No, well you see, Niles is up here for what I think you Brits call a "dirty weekend" with someone...
Daphne: Ooh.
Frasier: And the someone happens to be Roz.
Daphne: Roz? You mean, Roz Roz?

Roz: Where's Donny?
Niles: Well, he can't be in the kitchen, Frasier would have seen him.
Roz: [sees the door to Alice's room] Look, the door. He must be up there.
Niles: You keep a lookout, I'll go get him.
Roz: OK.
Niles: Why don't I take over here and you can join Roz?
Frasier: [leaving the room] For the love of God! If I'd known the two of you were gonna take my words this seriously I would have chosen them more carefully. For God's sake, get out of here, get down to that lake.

Martin: Is that the bathroom?
Frasier: No.
Niles: Yes, it is.
Frasier: It's out of order. [a knocking sound is heard on the door] Let me check again. [he opens the door] Ssh.
My God, one of the pipes is burst and the other one's knocking.

Martin: Fine, is there one down the hallway there?
Niles: No.
Frasier: Yes, there is.
Niles: No, it's out of order, too.

Frasier: You know, Niles, you're behaving awfully strangely. What the heck is going on?
Niles: What do you mean?
Frasier: I mean that you show absolutely no desire to be alone with Roz. I'm starting to have serious doubts about this so-called "romance".
Niles: Oh, really? Well, does this look so-called to you? [to Roz] Come here, Pookie!
[Niles bends Roz over his lap and passionately kisses her. Donny then enters the house through the front door]
Donny: That's why the door was stuck. You two, why didn't you tell me?

Daphne: I hope I don't have anything to worry about! [laughs]
Donny: Oh come on, are you kidding?
[Daphne and Donny kiss, prompting Roz to punch Niles]
Frasier: Well, obviously Roz and Niles can barely keep their hands off each other.