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Daphne's Room

‘Daphne's Room’

Season 2, Episode 17 -  Aired February 28, 1995

Daphne is offended when she catches Frasier in her bedroom.

Quote from Martin

Martin: Oh, Dr. Crane, I'm glad to see you. I need some advice. I've got this son who's a total numbnut.

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Quote from Niles

Niles: I know. I'll throw a great big party for her this weekend. It'll be a costume ball with a Louis XIV theme, right down to the powdered wigs and the crushed velvet pantaloons! May I presume you're both coming down with colds? [Frasier and Martin cough] And so it goes.

Quote from Daphne

Frasier: Oh, look, Daphne, I realize how hard it is to live in someone else's home.
Daphne: Yes, it is. But I put up with it, because I happen to love this job. All I ever asked for was one room, a
little corner I could call my own. I never minded if I was up to my eyeballs in your precious earth tones
and your African knick-knacks, but now I have to put up with you in there, too. And that's one leering love god too many!

Quote from Niles

Martin: Oh, jeez, the disposal's jammed. Yeah, stick your hand down there, see what's stuck, will you?
Niles: Dad, it's me, Niles.
Martin: I can't get my hand in there.
Niles: Oh, all right, punish a man for being fine-boned.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: [as the convertible roof retracts] Oooooh!
Frasier: Daphne, did you happen to see that sporty little sub-compact over there? I bet you could park that anywhere.
Daphne: Is that a Mercedes dealership across the street?

Quote from Niles

Frasier: If you're through marinating in your own testosterone, I have a problem. Remember last night I went back into Daphne's room? Well, she caught me again.
Niles: You're joking!
Frasier: I was just so embarrassed I had to leave this morning before she woke up. I left a little note, trying to explain my actions. Considering the circumstances, I don't think there's any way she can forgive me.
Niles: Oh, come now. It wasn't as bad as all that. It's not like you saw her naked or something. ... You did!
Frasier: But I took no pleasure in it at all. The entire thing was just absolutely mortifying.
Niles: Frasier, I want to help you with this, so you have to tell me everything. Every sight, every sound. Frasier, unburden yourself before you explode!
Frasier: No, Niles, no!
Niles: [taking out pen and paper] All right then, I'll show you how I've always imagined her and you tell me where I'm wrong.

Quote from Niles

Frasier: I happen to think that bribery is the wrong way for couples to resolve their conflicts.
Niles: Oh, really, and during which of your failed marriages did you hone that theory?!

Quote from Roz

Roz: Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your neck look like a relief map of the Andes.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: A servant like me doesn't deserve privacy anyway. Matter of fact, why don't we just get it all out in
the open? Here's my bank book, some personal letters, oh and my driver's license. As you can see, I'm four pounds heavier now, but it's in a spot that doesn't really show ... to most people.

Quote from Niles

Frasier: What magic words did you use to melt your little glacier?
Niles: When I got home, I sat her down and I stared deeply into her eyes, and I said, "Maris, here are the keys to your new Mercedes."
Frasier: You bought her a Mercedes?
Niles: Yes. Oh, the things that tiny woman can do when she's properly motivated.

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