Niles: [answering his phone] Niles Crane. Maris! Where are you? Still at the beauty parlor? What? No, calm down. Calm down. Stop crying. It can't be as bad as all that. Exactly how much hair do you have left? Oh. Well, don't panic, we just have to find another character for you to be tonight. Uh, there's an Ionesco play called "The Bald Soprano!" [chuckles] No I'm joking, Maris. What? You've got to come. Maris, for God's sake, you have thirty-seven wigs, just go down to the wig vault and pick one. Maris, this evening means a great deal to me. I need you here with me. Do you care about my feelings at all? [call disconnects] Well, that answers that.