Niles: Oh, please, I have enough aggravation without having to listen to a stupid talk show. Honestly, I swear, the only life forms lower than the people who appear on those shows are the ones who watch them.
Daphne: Like me?
Niles: What? Oh, no, I didn't realize-
Daphne: No, no, no, that's quite all right. Although I do find it interesting that I get criticized for listening to people's problems, when all you do is get rich from it.
Niles: Surely, Daphne, even you can see the difference between cheap sensationalism and the practice of psychiatry.
Daphne: Oh, "even me?" As in, "even feeble-minded Daphne?!" Well, I'll tell you what I can tell the difference between: a true gentleman and a condescending prig!
Niles: I am not!
Daphne: He said priggishly.
Niles: Forgive me if I'm not as down to earth as you and your tattooed, muumuu-wearing brethren!
Daphne: You pompous twit!
Niles: Couch zombie!
Daphne: Snob!
Niles: Brat!
Daphne: Oh, shut up!
Niles: No, you shut up!
Martin: I'm glad we turned off the TV.
Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, I'm so sorry. I'm just so upset at Joe. I didn't mean a word of it.
Niles: Daphne, I apologize-
Daphne: Oh, no, it was my fault-
Niles: I called you a couch zombie-
Daphne: No, please-
Niles: [offers hand] Friends?
Daphne: [shaking] Oh, of course.