Frasier: Well, I'm still thirsty, Niles. Here, "Beam" me up.

Niles: A fisherman in Oshkosh, Wisconsin stared into one of these holes for twenty years before he caught his first fish.
Frasier: Haven't we been here that long?

Niles: Come on, give us a kiss!
Martin: Oh, shut up!
Ranger: Excuse me.
Martin: Hey, officer!
Niles: Oh, we're saved!
Ranger: You guys are gonna have to come off the ice for the night.
Martin: Well, we can't, we lost the car keys.
Ranger: Then I'll take you to your motel, and you can call a locksmith in the morning.
Martin: Oh, thanks, officer!
Frasier: That's a wonderful idea, you're quite a sport.
Niles: Yes. Yes. Thank you, we love you! [The ranger holds up his hand] Ya! We love ya!
Martin: We've been drinking a little.

Frasier: There is no more emotionally charged phrase in the language than "I love you." Some people are just incapable of saying it, it makes them too vulnerable. My father, for instance, incapable of saying "I love you," even to me. But I know he does.
Roz: So your father never told you he loves you? God, that explains so much.

Frasier: What is that supposed to mean?!
Roz: Well, maybe if he had, you wouldn't be so emotionally needy that when a close friend asks your advice, you have to steer the conversation back to your own problems. So anyway, now that I told this guy I love him, how do I take it back?
Frasier: Very simple, Roz. Do you remember when I said that I cared about you and I'd like to help?
Roz: Yeah?
Frasier: I take it back.

[Frasier opens the door to Niles, who is decked out in winter gear and fishing paraphernalia]
Niles: Call me Ishmael.

Niles: Here's your Hot Buns, Dad.
Martin: Oh, thanks.
Frasier: What am I gonna sit on?
Niles: The auger's free.

Frasier: Little off our game today, aren't we, Roz? Is something wrong?
Roz: Yes. I told a guy I love him.
Frasier: Somebody you know this time?

Frasier: Did he just say "I love you" to the dog?
Daphne: Oh, that's nothing. I had an aunt who used to say, "Good night, Mr. Vanderpump" to a hat rack.
Frasier: Does he say that to Eddie a lot?
Daphne: Well, I try to give them their privacy.