Frasier: Excellent, Mimi. All right then. Now, tomorrow we will take our biggest step yet.
Mimi: No, I really don't think that-
Frasier: No, you are ready. You are. In the safety of this environment, you will watch me transform myself into a real live clown. I will apply the make up, and then I'll put on the clown suit and the big funny shoes. And, time permitting, I will make animal balloons.
Mimi: And you really think that'll work?
Frasier: As long as you don't ask for anything too complicated, like a giraffe.

Frasier: Thanks for bringing that over.
Roz: No problem. I'm warning you, though, that clown makeup is a bitch to get off. I wore it for Alice's birthday party and for a whole week after, I looked like a kabuki hooker.
Frasier: Oh, yes, that was around the time of the SeaBee Awards. I remember now, you were rather comically made up that night.
Roz: I'd gotten it off by then.

Frasier: I thought you were having dinner with Niles.
Martin: He cancelled. Something came up. I'm just gonna watch the game in my room. But don't worry. If I come out for a beer, I'll call ahead. Wouldn't want you to think there was an intruder in the house.
Frasier: It's about ten years too late for that.

Frasier: Yes, well, no point in trying to assign blame at a time like this, Niles. We must remember that.
Niles: You probably saved his life. [to a woman in the waiting room] Our father had a heart attack, this man saved his life!
Frasier: Well, I'm sure you would've done the same thing if you were in my shoes, Niles. [to the woman] Well, not these shoes, of course.

Frasier: What relief. He's going to be okay!
Roz: No thanks to you!
Niles: Look at you. You just stand there with a smile on your face.
Frasier: That's makeup, you idiot!

Frasier: All right, Dad.
Niles: Daphne's on her way over to join us for a nice, heart-smart dinner.
Frasier: Right. Oh, and Dad, you really should take a look at this list the hospital sent home with us. Now, the foods that have a little picture of a, a smiling heart next to them are good for you.
Martin: Yeah, I cracked that code already.

Niles: Oh, that'll be Daphne.
Martin: She's not cooking, is she? I just got out of the hospital!

Martin: Oh, quit whining. I used to scare you kids all the time when we went camping and you used to love it. Remember the story about the couple making out in the car who got slashed by the killer with the hook?
Frasier: Yes, I remember I couldn't kiss a woman in a car until I was thirty.
Ronee: Well, your father doesn't have that problem, Mr. Reclining Bucket Seats.
Frasier: You want me to scream again?

Martin: Boo!
Frasier: [screams] What is the matter with you?!
Martin: Well, you keep standing in empty rooms with your back to the door. I'm only human. Oh, I wish Ronee could've seen that one.

Frasier: You know, I'm glad your little girlfriend is making you feel young again, but you're acting like an irresponsible adolescent.
Martin: [mimicking] Irresponsible adolescent.
Frasier: Mimicking me now.
Martin: [mimicking] Mimicking me now!