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Big Crane on Campus

‘Big Crane on Campus’

Season 7, Episode 14 -  Aired February 3, 2000

Frasier tries to heal some of his high school wounds when runs into the prom queen.

Quote from Daphne

Martin: Hey, what's up?
Daphne: Nothing. Why should anything be up? Dr. Crane burnt his hand and I was tending to it, that's all. Oh my. Look at the time. I've got to run. [takes the clock with her]


Quote from Martin

Martin: Burn, huh? Well, you might want to keep something cold on that. Here, you can hold my beer for me while I watch the game.

Quote from Frasier

Niles: Hello, Frasier.
Frasier: Hello, Niles. How are you?
Niles: Fine. Fine. Although the oddest thing just happened.
Frasier: Oh, that man on the corner's name is Pete. If you give him a dollar, his monkey won't make those rude gestures.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Your relationship with Mel is growing deeper. Is it possible that your fear of commitment is driving your mind to throw up these imaginary road blocks?
Niles: You think so?
Frasier: Well, you do have a history with this. Remember the day after you proposed to Maris? You went that evening to the opera, you were convinced that Leontyne Price was winking at you the whole night.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: Please, Roz, I could never do that sort of thing. Whenever I know that I have no future with a woman, I end it. Right then and there. Especially a woman like Lorna, recently divorced and vulnerable.
Roz: You always take the high road.
Frasier: Well, you know, I like to think so. You know, if there's one thing I've learned, my old high school wounds are not going to be healed by sleeping with the prom queen.
Roz: Tell me about it. Prom queen, assistant principal. You can't go home again.

Quote from Frasier

Lorna: I know we have plans but I completely forgot. It's the retirement dinner for Coach Palet.
Frasier: Who?
Lorna: Our high school football coach. I'd love it if you'd go with me.
Frasier: Well, I have to be honest with you-
Lorna: Oh, come on, it'll be fun. The old gang'll be there.
Frasier: The old gang, you say. You mean like Chip Clayton and Ladd Lundquist.
Lorna: Yeah, the whole crowd. Imagine the looks on their faces when they see us walk in together.
Frasier: Yes, imagine.
Lorna: Oh, come on, say you'll be my date.
Frasier: Well, I wouldn't want to let down the coach.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Lorna, I can't go in there with you.
Lorna: Why not?
Frasier: Well, because I came here for the wrong reasons. So all the cool kids would see me with school's most popular girl and I let you believe that we had hopes for some sort of a future when I know in my heart that there is none. Well, if you walk in there with me it would be as my trophy and I just can't do that to you, I'm so sorry.
Lorna: You expect me to walk into a room full of my ex-classmates by myself? Like some pathetic divorcée who couldn't scare up a date for some old jock sendoff? I don't think so!
Frasier: Lorna...
Lorna: You know, I thought you'd be a nice rebound fling, get my feet wet dating again. You don't want that, that's fine. But I'll tell you what we are going to do. You're going to take my arm, you're going to escort me in that room, we're going to dance, make out like freshmen and leave with your hand on my ass, you got it?
Frasier: Shall we?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Uh, Roz our chatting isn't bothering your reading is it?
Roz: Oh no, actually I... Oh right, off I go.

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