Frasier: No, it's dawn. It's Friday! Oh, Niles, why don't we just admit it? We can't work together, there's never going to be any book.
Niles: Well, not with that attitude, there isn't.
Frasier: Oh, will you get off it. Come on, the fat lady has sung! The curtain has been rung down here. I'll type it for you in capital letters!
Niles: [reading] "IT'S OOVER?"

Frasier: Well, at least I'm not spindly!
Niles: Who you calling spindly, Fat Face?
Frasier: You, Spindly.

Frasier: Niles! Niles! Stop it! We're psychiatrists, not pugilists! [Niles relents] I can't believe you fell for that!

Frasier: Dad, the mark of a pure man is that one that realizes he can't control his circumstances, he can only control his response.
Martin: Have you talked to your brother yet?
Frasier: I do not have a brother! I'm an only child!

Martin: Isn't there something you'd like to say to your brother?
Frasier: Yes Dad, I suppose there is. Niles, would you like a muffin?
Martin: Frasier!

Frasier: Niles, I'm sorry things didn't work out with the book. You have no reason to feel inferior to me. You're an accomplished psychiatrist, a decent man, and you stand second to no-one.
Niles: Thank you, Frasier. The truth is, I've always looked up to you and admired you.
Martin: All right, enough of this mushy girly stuff. Just shake hands, punch each other on the shoulder and be done with it.

Sam: Funny. I never put it together that you two of you were brothers.
Niles: All our lives. [laughs]
Sam: Well, you two must have incredible insight into sibling relationships.
Frasier: No more than your average psychiatrist brothers.