‘And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (Part 2)’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired October 24, 2000
Daphne is upset that her relationship with Niles can't get started after he agreed to Mel's request that they pretend to be happily married for a while.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Good lord. Look at him, over-acting. Trying to convince everyone he's happily married. Have you ever seen anything so pathetic in your life?
Martin: How about you and Lilith?
Frasier: It was a rhetorical question.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Yes, they do make a lovely couple.
Woman: Don't they? I'm sure they'll be happy together for many years.
Martin: Well, you never know.
Frasier: Dad?
Martin: Well, you don't, do you? I mean, I'm just saying you never know.
Woman: No, I... guess you don't.
Frasier: Lovely talking with you. Enjoy the party. [to Martin] What the hell's wrong with you?
Martin: In a few weeks, I'm gonna look like a genius.
Quote from Niles
Mel: Well, wasn't that clever of your brother? It's only too bad your little English muffin couldn't be here to enjoy it as well. Which reminds me, you do realize that while we are pretending to be married, you absolutely cannot be seen inpublic with Daphne?
Niles: I, I... [Mel cuts Niles off by stuffing cake in his mouth]
Mel: I love you too, honey.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Was that Simon's voice I heard just now?
Martin: Yeah, he just took Eddie on a walk for me.
Frasier: Well, it's about time that chowder made himself useful.
Martin: Ah, don't be so hard on him. He tries.
Frasier: Yes, well, if you're talking about my patience, he certainly does.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: I intervened only out of love for the two people who are most important to...
Daphne: Oh, put a sock in it! I am sick and tired of listening to you yammering on about everything under the sun.
Niles: Daphne...
Daphne: And I'm sick of listening to you, too. You got anything to say, old man? [Martin holds his hands up] Good!
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: I'm waiting.
Niles: For what?
Frasier: An apology. For that unprovoked broadside you leveled at me.
Niles: You expect me to apologize to you?
Frasier: Expect it, sir, and demand it!
Niles: Well, then, here's my answer, no!
Quote from Niles
Niles: Well, then, here's my answer, no!
Frasier: No?
Niles: No! And furthermore, why don't you take your broadside, stuff it in a chair, and keep your unlimited supply of opinions, suggestions, proposals and recommendations to yourself?
Frasier: Well, I never!
Niles: No, you always!
Frasier: Get out!
Quote from Martin
Martin: How's a corned beef sandwich sound?
Frasier: I am appalled.
Martin: Well, no problem. There's some smoked turkey in here, too.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Well, if you figure out a way to get them back together, I'll be in my room if you need any help.
Frasier: Have you been listening to me?
Martin: Well, I tried not to, but some of it still got through.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Dad, I don't think I handled things very well today. Do you think Daphne will ever forgive me?
Martin: Why don't you ask her for yourself?
Frasier: Your table is ready, sir.
Niles: [to Daphne] You look stunning.
Daphne: Thank you. You look dashing.
Frasier: [pulling a chair out for Niles] I trust this will be to your liking?
Niles: Everything is to my liking.
Daphne: Looks like we're having that first date after all.
Niles: You went to so much trouble!
Daphne: It wasn't me, it was your brother.
Frasier: Well, you know me, I hate to butt in.