Frasier: Well, I suppose I'll be fielding this last one myself. Let's try line two. Go ahead, caller, your name and problem, please.
Ernie: "Yes sir, my name's Ernie, and I'm real angry at my dog."
Frasier: Okay, Ernie. Uh, very often when people have feelings towards their pets it often reflect feelings they have about themselves and their place in society. So tell me, why are you angry at your dog?
Ernie: "Well, he keeps telling me to take off my foil helmet."
Frasier: Would you hold on, Ernie? Um, someone will come on the line with the number of an expert in this sort of situation.

Frasier: Roz, what's going on?
Roz: I'm sorry, but they want to interview me for the program director job at KPXY.
Frasier: Well... that's great, but I didn't even know you were looking.
Roz: I wasn't. They just called me, out of the blue. I'm actually shocked, because I have very limited experience in management. But, well, Kenny's in management, how hard can it be?
Kenny: Hey, it's not that easy. I know it looks like a monkey can do my job, but it can't. True story.

Frasier: Well, you're being uncharacteristically decent today. You all right?
Julia: I'm fine. ... All right, I might as well tell you before he does. Avery and I broke up.
Frasier: Oh. Gosh, uh, what happened?
Julia: I got tired of listening to him promise he'd leave his wife.
Frasier: Well, I'm sorry. I realize you must be going through...
Julia: Oh, I don't need your sympathy, okay. I'm not one of your pathetic code three whackadoos.
Frasier: I was just trying to help. No need to insult my callers.
Roz: [entering the booth] Foil Helmet Guy says his dog needs to speak to you.

Julia: You really do try to see the best in everyone, don't you?
Frasier: Yes, I do.
Julia: So, what do you see when you look at me?
Frasier: Well, I see a woman who's been hurt, not once but many times. A woman who finds it so difficult to trust someone, she won't allow herself to be vulnerable. A woman... [Julia gets up and walks out] whose eyes are going to get stuck if she keeps rolling them like that!

Niles: Oh, you know, no offense, but I, uh, I just, I'm not real comfortable with guns.
Red: You know, Mitch used to be that way, too.
Mitch: Yeah, the only weapon I'd go near was a bow and arrow.
Niles: I, uh, I got an archery badge at day camp.

Frasier: What was that?
Julia: What?
Frasier: You kissed me.
Julia: I was trying to shut you up.
Frasier: Oh, no. I've been kissed to shut me up before. This was not that.

Roz: It was ten years ago, at a convention in Cancun. We were all hammered.
Frasier: Oh, I'm surprised you even remember him.
Roz: Well, it's hard to forget when you wake up with a nametag on your pillow that says, "Hola! My name is Woody Wiswell."

Frasier: Listen, Julia. Julia, I've been dying to talk to you all week long about what happened in Avery's office. Obviously something is going on, and I have several hypotheses. It could be displaced passion, frustration from a failed relationship, or an adrenaline-induced action as a result of stress we were both suffering from...
Julia: Oh, Frasier, for once in your life, would you please shut up?

Frasier: It's nothing serious. I'll work it out.
Niles: You know where I like to work things out? The shooting range.
Frasier: Good Lord, Niles, are you still going down there? I thought you hated guns.
Niles: Oh, believe me, I never expected I'd like it as much as I do. But when you're in that booth, focused on-on precision, accuracy, it's not dissimilar to a kind of meditation. Wouldn't you agree, Dad?
Martin: I just like to shoot stuff, son.
Niles: Fair enough.

Martin: Now they're saying Daisy Duke might not get here.