Debra: You know, Ray. Ever since the kids were born I've been just stuck in this house. I feel like I'm missing out. I need a change.
Ray: You're leaving me?
Debra: Eventually. But, anyway the girls were talking about all these exciting things they're doing, you know? Gayle's biking through Thailand. Amy got a promotion. Linda's getting her master's degree. Like, all I could talk about is, "The twins can pronounce their S's now and..." Ray! What?
Ray: Yeah. You had Thai food and Linda's playing in the Master's.

Debra: I think I might go back to work.
Ray: What? Where's this coming from?
Debra: This is what I've been trying to tell you. Just part-time in PR, like I use to do. Amy said she's always hearing about openings.
Ray: You wanna work?
Debra: Sounds even better when you say it.
Ray: I'm not saying it, I'm asking.
Debra: Yes, I actually want to get out and do something.
Ray: What about-
Debra: The house will be fine.
Ray: Well, how about-
Debra: The twins are in preschool five days a week. And you did great tonight. Everybody's asleep. House looks great.
Ray: No, I didn't do great. My mother cleaned up. The kids aren't even home. They're at a racetrack.

Debra: Hey, hey, hey. I got the job.
Ray: What?
Debra: Yeah, I got the job. Two days a week I'm going to be a copywriter at the Charlotte Sterling Agency.
Ray: They just gave it to you like that?
Debra: Yeah, I had to fill out a W-4 and everything.
Ray: So there was no drug testing or anything like that?
Debra: I'm going to get to do so much there. It's a small agency. It's just Charlotte, me and the receptionist. God, I've never had a woman boss before.
Ray: Yeah, it's not that great.

Debra: Oh, honey, you're a great provider. No, we don't need the money. I just need to do this for myself, you know? Hey, wouldn't it be nice to have a extra money? I mean, what if one of the kids wants to go to Harvard?
[The camera cuts to one of the twins putting his sneaker in his mouth]
Ray: I think that kid might be a little disappointed.

Debra: Okay, listen. Can I use your office?
Ray: My office?
Debra: My boss wants me to create a new identity for a pizza restaurant.
Ray: Hold on. How about the kids, though?
Debra: Ray, I know you've had them for a couple hours already, but I need to get a head start on this, and you said you would help out more.
Ray: I didn't know by helping out you meant really helping out.
Debra: So this is not really about you losing your place as the wage earner. You just don't want to do any work around here.
Ray: Why is that so wrong?
Debra: You know what, complain all you want. I'm doing this. Dream squasher.
Ray: How about my dream, huh? The wife who doesn't want to go to work 'cause she's too tired from all the sex.

Ray: Hey there, Cat Balou. So how was your first day? See, I'm asking just like you asked me to.
Debra: Terrible. It was just a terrible, horrible day.
Ray: Oh. All right, it will go better tomorrow.
Debra: No it won't, Ray. I was fired.
Ray: On your first day?
Debra: Yes, Ray, on my first day!
Ray: Have you lost weight?

Ray: Come on, what happened? What did you do?
Debra: Nothing. Ally forgot her permission slip for the zoo. So then I had to deal with the school and fax something over there. And then my boss just freaked out. God!
Ray: Well, that's not nice. It's not nice.
Debra: To think I was excited to work for a woman. God! I'm telling you, these career women are the worst. They sacrifice all their happiness to get where they are now. And they want everybody else to do exactly the same.
Ray: Women. Yeah.
Debra: Oh. Don't try to be supportive. It's way too late for that.

Charlotte Sterling: Can I help you?
Ray: I was hoping to talk to Charlotte Sterling.
Charlotte Sterling: Are you here to sell her something?
Ray: No.
Charlotte Sterling: Then I'm Charlotte Sterling. My receptionist is taking another mental health day.
Ray: I'm Ray Barone.
Charlotte Sterling: Yes.
Ray: Um, my wife worked here until yesterday. Well, she worked here yesterday.
Charlotte Sterling: Oh. Oh, oh, I'm so sorry about that. Are you here for her mug? I rinsed it.
Ray: [reads the mug] "Have a nice day."
Charlotte Sterling: Thank you. You too.
Ray: No. No, the mug.

Ray: See, you fired Debra because my daughter had to go to the zoo.
Charlotte Sterling: No, I'm sorry. Look, I had to let Debra go because, uh... Listen, why don't I show you her campaign on our pizza account. [removes paper from the trash] I, um... [hands it to Ray] She created a character that was supposed to go on all their packaging and ads. The man who invented pizza.
Ray: "Professor Pete Za."
Charlotte Sterling: Yes. First name Pete. Last name Za. Pete Za.
Ray: Cute!
Charlotte Sterling: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is cute. But our clients aren't paying us for cute. They don't wanna guy with a pun name and a mozzarella hat.
Ray: Okay, but this is... It's one thing. You fired her for one thing?
Charlotte Sterling: I really didn't want to fire Debra, but she just wouldn't let go of it. I mean, I told her. I said I don't think this is what the clients want and she argued with me. Now, I really hate to say this, but I think she's a little stubborn.
Ray: Really? That doesn't sound like my Debra, though.

Ray: Hey, puka shell.
Debra: Hi.
Ray: Hi. A gift for my wife.
Debra: Oh, great. I can use it to carry juice boxes to Gymboree.
Ray: Or to the Charlotte Sterling Agency if you like your juice with lunch. You got your job back. Ta-da!
Debra: What?
Ray: I talked to Charlotte. She's gonna give you another shot.
Debra: Charlotte? When did you talk to Charlotte?
Ray: Today. Today. I skipped lunch.
Debra: How could you do that?
Ray: I had a big breakfast.