‘Whose Side Are You On?’
Season 8, Episode 13 - Aired February 2, 2004
Ray is upset to learn that Debra makes bets with the kids about him.
Quote from Robert
Ray: Hey, Dad.
Frank: Hey, my cake! I was lookin' for that. Hello, little fella. [eats with his hand] Mmm mm.
Robert: So, if I'm thinking right now that he's a slob, that's Ma's fault?
Quote from Robert
Ray: And it didn't stop with the talking. I was reading letters at camp about how my Mommy's husband wasn't emotionally available!
Marie: This was the news from home.
Frank: Look, this is crazy. Somebody milk me.
Marie: You see? That's why I had to go to you. Who else was there?
Robert: Anyone have a noose?
Quote from Robert
Marie: I hope you're satisfied, Frank. You've caused a schism in the family. [extis]
Frank: Aw, knock it off, Marie. Didn't you hear? Ray's done buying your boo-hoo baloney.
Ray: Yeah, especially since I just found out that Debra's doing the same thing.
Frank: Oh, yeah?
Ray: Yeah. She makes bets with the kids that turn them against me.
Frank: Wives.
Ray: Yeah. Wives!
Frank: [puts his arm around Ray] A father lives for moments like these.
Robert: [enters] Here's your milk, Da-- [downs the milk after seeing Frank's arm around Ray] Ah! This milk might have expired.
Quote from Ray
Debra: Okay, guys, it's time for bed.
Kids: No!
Ray: Come on, guys. It's bedtime.
Debra: Yeah. How about if Daddy reads you a bedtime story?
Kids: Yeah!
Ray: Oh. Uh... I wanted to watch the Knick game. Yeah, you know what? Forget the Knicks. I wanna read! All right, guys, Superman's coming. He's gonna read you a story, but he's gonna read it superfast so he can watch the Knicks. [to Debra] Wait a minute. Superman wants to use his superpowers. Ah, you wore the lacy ones.
Quote from Robert
Ray: What do you got, a new sweater?
Robert: Yeah. Amy gave it to me. I been getting compliments all day.
Ray: Yeah, it's pretty good, man.
Robert: Oh, yeah? How much you wanna bet Mom won't even notice?
Ray: I'll bet you she will.
Robert: You're wrong and you're on.
Marie: [enters] Hi, Robby.
Robert: Hey, Ma.
Marie: How's Amy?
Robert: Fine, Ma.
Marie: Excuse me, Robby, I have to get to the sink.
Robert: Aha! I win!
Ray: Congratulations. Your mother doesn't notice you.
Frank: Hey, what's with the ugly sweater?