Amy: Maybe Robert is gay.
Debra: No. Are you serious?
Amy: Think about it. He color-coordinates his clothes, he can dance, he's certainly very attached to his mother. And he didn't pressure me to sleep with him when I wasn't ready that whole first year.
Debra: Yeah, but then you did sleep with- Oh, this is ridiculous. Robert likes women, he was married once.
Amy: Yeah, I know, he started out straight, but I turn them. I'm the spatula.

Debra: I should never have fixed Amy and Robert up.
Ray: Hey, they had a good run. Sometimes these things don't work out, you know? And sometimes they do. [kisses Debra's neck]
Debra: 2 and a half child-bearing years off of Amy's life.
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: You know what I don't understand?
Ray: That when I kiss your neck I'm not checking for ticks.

Debra: Robert is always saying that he wants what you have: a house, a wife, kids. He's gonna end up spending the rest of his life going on date after date looking for love with strangers!
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: I'm serious. I think Robert needs to get some help. He's got this big fear of commitment.
Ray: Is that what Amy thinks?
Debra: No, Amy thinks he's gay.
Ray: [chuckles] Yeah, I'll bet she does.
Debra: What's that supposed to mean?
Ray: Nothing, I just I think it's funny how a woman always says, if a guy rejects her, "Oh, he must be gay." You always reject me, and I don't call you a lesbian... every single time.

Debra: I mean, is there a chance?
Ray: That you're a lesbian?
Debra: That your brother is gay.
Ray: No! Why, just 'cause he's not married? Why are we talking about this? Oh, you will do anything to avoid sex with me!
Debra: Look, I'm just saying, maybe he is, and maybe he doesn't know that he is.
Ray: He's definitely not, all right? He's my brother.
Debra: Oh, okay. You know, can I tell you something? There are some men that won't even consider the possibility because it would be too devastating to their homophobic families.
Ray: Ooh, look at my big words!
Debra: I'm just saying that, you know, even if Robert suspected that he might be that way, you could see how he would think it would be easier not even to deal with it, even if it meant ending up old and alone. And wouldn't that be sad?
Ray: You wanna see old and alone? [lifts up the bed covers]

Ray: We were talking about Robert.
Frank: Robert?!
Marie: Robert's not gay, he's a policeman.
Frank: One of those Village People was a policeman.
Ray: Robert's not gay!
Marie: Then why did you say he was?
Ray: I didn't!
Frank: Hey, you taught him all those songs.
Marie: What? We sang songs together. [sings] Somewhere over the rainbow
Frank: Knock it off!
Marie: What?
Frank: That's how it starts!

Marie: They broke up?
Ray: Yes, but-
Marie: They broke up? Why did they break up?
Ray: I don't know, Ma.
Marie: This is the third time. [gasps] Oh, my God.
Ray: Oh, come on, it's not because he's-
Frank: I told you, it was too much mothering. You're always hugging him!
Marie: Did you ever hug him once?
Frank: What the hell is happening here?!
Marie: Nothing! Nothing is happening, Frank! Could you try to be mature for a second? He's still our son.

Robert: Hello, everybody.
Marie: Robert. [hugs Robert] It's fine with me if you're gay, dear.

Ray: Believe me, Robert, I did not say that you were gay.
Frank: Could we talk about something else, please?
Marie: I mean, you of all people should understand, Frank. What about that man in Korea?
Frank: I told you never to mention that.
Ray: What? What happened in Korea?
Frank: Nothing happened! We were in a foxhole. It was cold and snowing. We had to keep warm. We huddled! You gotta survive, don't you? It lasted half a second!
Marie: You see, dear? Your father understands.
Frank: Our coats were insufficient! It was huddle or die!
Marie: Oh, shut up, Frank.

Marie: We're talking about Robert, and we're telling him that we will respect his choice.
Robert: It's not my choice!
Marie: I know, dear. Frieda says it's something you're born with.

Ray: Robert, just ignore 'em, that's all.
Robert: Ignore them? My parents think I'm gay.
Ray: So what? If they tell everyone they know, that's four people.
Robert: Thanks a lot, Raymond.
Ray: I didn't say you were, all right? It was a "what if." Like, "What if we were adopted?" It didn't really happen, but it's fun to think about.
Robert: Yeah, well, have your fun. [exits]
Marie: He has always been very sensitive.
Frank: He outranked me, I couldn't say no!