Ray: All right, I got it. The last box of baking powder. Had to fight two old ladies to get it.
Debra: Really? What did you do?
Ray: Nothing I'm proud of. All right, can I watch football now?
Debra: No. I need you here. This is not baking powder. This is baking soda!
Ray: All right. It's still a baking thing.
Debra: Great. Now we're not gonna have any biscuits. I'm sure your mom's gonna take notice of that.
Ray: All right. What do you want me to do?
Debra: Listen, cut those radishes, okay? Make them into little roses.
Debra: Who am I? Merlin? Give me something a man can do.

Ray: Let me smash walnuts.That's the third quarter.
Debra: No, that's the Apple Brown Betty. Come.
Ray: I'm the only sportswriter who doesn't get to watch the game.
Debra: Listen, just stir those onions, would you? That's too fast. You're crushing the skins.
Ray: Oh...
Debra: What?
Ray: You're reminding me. The Cowboys are crushing the 'Skins right now.

Debra: Nice try. Come back here. Wait. That's not the carrots, 'cause I checked. The creamed onions? No. The fish is scaled. Jelly mold is set. Oh, my God!
Ray: What?
Debra: Oh, my God! The squash!
Ray: What? What squash?
Debra: I forgot the squash.
Ray: All right. Okay. So what?
Debra: So what? It's the squash, Ray. It's my only yellow. Where did I put it?
Ray: I don't know.
Debra: Think, Ray, come on!
Ray: I wasn't here. I was out not getting baking powder!
Debra: I need that squash.
Ray: Are you as turned on as I am right now?
Debra: Ray, I need the squash!
Ray: Is that a yes?
Debra: Ray!

Ray: Stop. You're reacting to missing squash like the time we left Ally at the mall.

Ray: Okay. Now it's Thanksgiving. This is football. Your mother doesn't want me to watch football today. What's that all about? You might say, "Hey, Daddy, that's being sneaky." That's why I'm glad you can't talk yet. Oh, beautiful catch! We live in a great country. Including, look at this, Michael. Cheerleaders. It's everything you could want in one show. See, Dallas is winning. I want Washington to win. Dallas can win, as long as it's not by more than seven points. And then, Dallas doesn't cover the spread. Now, that will make your daddy $20. Keep your eye on the ball! How did you drop that? You see, Michael, you gotta remember always keep your eye on the ball.

Debra: The fish is gonna be ready in 10 minutes. Where are your folks?
Ray: My Mom's not here yet, but. Good news, Dad's in our bed.
Debra: You know your Mom's doing this on purpose, don't you? Yeah. She's throwing my timing off. She wants my fish to be a big, dried-out piece of bass jerky.
Ray: You're not gonna cry again, are you?
Debra: No. All right. Stop.

Robert: Thanks for doing this, Raymond. Looks like you got the whole family together.
Ray: Yeah. It's dysfunction-palooza.
Robert: [holding a casserole dish] You know what I forgot? Oven mitts.

Frank: [coughs]
Robert: You okay, Dad?
Frank: I'll be okay. Just went down the wrong pipe.
Marie: I think he's gagging on the fish.
Debra: How do you know it's the fish? It could be the turkey.
Lois: Slap him on the back, Warren.
Warren: My pleasure.
Marie: Robert, do something. He's choking on the fish.
Ray: Or turkey.

Robert: Get up, Dad. I got him.
Debra: Are you all right, Frank?
Frank: I'm all right.
Marie: Oh, thank God! I bet it's the fish!
Debra: It could just as well have been the turkey.
Ray: Well, let's go to the field for the call. Oh, that is a piece of fish.
Marie: I knew it!
Debra: You must be very happy.
Marie: What? What?
Ray: Ma, this is supposed to be Debra's Thanksgiving. Look how you're acting here.
Frank: Will somebody please pass the fish? It's good.
Robert: Dad, here's a little advice: chew.