Ray: Michael, come on! I'm late for work! Aw, you did this yesterday! You've been on the toilet for half an hour! Come on, you're seven, not 67! [Michael comes out of the bathroom] Were you playing with your action figures?
Michael: It helps me.

Ray: Aw, no! No, come on! This is not good! Pick up your clothes! At least hang the towel on the knob, huh? Toilet paper doesn't belong on the floor! It's like a bus station in here.

Debra: I just brought your mother up to show off.
Ray: When did you do this?
Debra: Yesterday. Oh, and I took your suggestion, Marie. I put the lights on a dimmer. Ah.
Marie: Oh, that's nice. I always dim them, and then I light a gardenia candle. Then I'm ready to drop my robe and slide into my bubble bath.
Ray: I'm gonna sit.
Debra: Oh. Oh, and look at this. Water massage.
Marie: Oh, you got one of those!
Debra: Yes.

Robert: Hey. Oh, wow, look at this. What do we have here, Dad?
Frank: Well, Robert, did you hear? Debra kicked him out of his bathroom.
Ray: She didn't kick me out. I gave it to her.
Frank: You gave it to her?
Robert: Why?
Ray: Because I spit, she sighed, I felt bad, and here I am.

Debra: [on the phone] Well, I know, but you shouldn't be going to bars. You are never gonna meet guys that way, Amy. Hold on one second. Ray, have you seen last month's bank statement? [Ray shakes his head] Are you sure? [Ray nods] Where did I put that thing? Why would you go to a sports bar? Aren't all those guys in the worst shape, huh? I'm sure I put it on this desk somewhere.
Ray: [sighs]
Debra: Ah! There we go. I found it.
Ray: [sighs]
Debra: Wow! I think our bank is ripping us off. These A.T.M. fees are unbelievable.
Ray: [exaggerated sigh]
Debra: Anyway, you know what would be good for you? Online dating services! Uh-huh.
Ray: All right, that's it. Get out!
Debra: What?
Ray: "Oh, Amy... [clucks]" Get out.
Debra: Amy, can I call you back? Okay.

Debra: Is there something wrong?
Ray: You've got every room in the house. You got the kitchen, you got the bedroom. The living room isn't mine. I even handed over the bathroom. My throne, my very throne. I would think the least you could do is let me have my little dungeon down here, where, by the way, I happen to make all the money that pays for this whole castle. Or is that too much to ask?
Debra: No. [walks away]
Ray: That's right. [rests hand on the water heater] Agh!

Ray: What are you doin'?
Debra: What am I doing? I'm giving the bathroom king his throne back!
Debra: Look, I was just trying to make a point. I want a little space to myself downstairs.
Debra: Then why didn't you say that instead of giving a big speech about how you have nothing?
Ray: I did.
Debra: When did you say, "Excuse me, I just need some space right now in my office"?
Ray: When I sighed.
Debra: You sighed?
Ray: Yeah, I went, "ugh."
Debra: What? I'm supposed to know what that means?
Ray: Yes, because when you went, "ugh," I gave you the bathroom.
Debra: I never went, "Ugh"...
Ray: Come on! You practically fogged up the mirror with your, "ugh". In the meantime, you didn't get the message, even though I had to go, "Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!"
Debra: Okay, fine-
Ray: Give me a second. I'm a little dizzy.

Debra: If-if I did sigh, I didn't mean anything by it.
Ray: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I know you too well. I know exactly what it meant. It meant, "You smell. Get out."
Debra: Ray, you may smell, but you offered to leave!
Ray: Well, I didn't mean it!
Debra: Well, why did you say it?
Ray: I was being nice!
Debra: Well, this should be a little lesson for you. You should always mean what you say.
Ray: And you should always mean what you sigh. Huh. Hmm-hmm.

Debra: Do you want to know why I sigh? It's like a pressure valve, a release. Living with you, if I didn't sigh every once in a while, I would explode!
Ray: Oh, you think you're so easy to live with?
Debra: Yes, as a matter of fact, I think I'm very easy to live with.
Ray: Ha! You are so wrong. Open up the window and let some of the wrong out.

Ray: You- You have so many annoying habits.
Debra: Oh, yeah? Like what?
Ray: Okay, uh, you know how when you read your magazine in bed and you lick your fingers before you turn every page?
Debra: So?
Ray: I hate that.
Debra: Get outta here!
Ray: Yeah, it's 'cause you slurp your finger.
Debra: Slurp? This is not a slurp.
Ray: It's a slurp, okay? It's right next to my ear. Then you take your wet thumb and you put it on the page, which, by the way, is disgusting!
Debra: Oh, oh, oh! I'm sorry I'm disgusting you while you're trying to clean your toenails with a hanger.
Ray: Yeah, the only reason I did that was to see if it worked, okay? And it does with the big toe.