Sergeant Judy: Give me the usual. I'm going to the ladies' room.
Ray: Why are we taking a break? What are we taking a break from?
Sergeant Judy: How about a break from your mouth?
Ray: [to Robert] She seems nice.

Waitress: You guys gonna order, or can I grab a smoke?
Ray: What do you want to eat? I'm buying.
Robert: I'm not hungry.
Ray: Come on. I'll buy for Judy, too. What does she eat? Little kids?

Debra: What do you mean? What happened?
Ray: We went into Nemo's for a break, and a guy came in with a gun.
Debra: My God. What do you mean, a gun?
Ray: A gun. A gun. I mean a gun. A thing they use to rob things.
Debra: What are you doing with a gun?
Ray: Nothing. I didn't have the gun.
Debra: I mean, near a gun. Who told you to go out and be with guns?
Ray: You did.
Debra: I did not. I said you could ride in the back of Robert's police car. I never said you should get out of the car. [kisses Ray]
Ray: I'm okay. I'm okay.
Debra: [hits Ray] You jerk! You idiot!
Ray: I'm okay.
Debra: Stupid. How could you?
Ray: Ow! I need my vest again.

Debra: Oh, my God! How did this happen? What happened?
Ray: Nothing. 'Cause Robert stopped the guy. And then we took him to the station. Then Robert booked him and printed him. And then I told Robert I had to throw up, and Judy took me home.
Debra: How is Robert?
Ray: He's fine. He's... I've never seen him like that. He just took control. You know, it's like, one minute he's my brother who eats like this. And the next minute, he's like this cop.
Debra: Why? What did he do?
Ray: I don't know. It happened so fast. I don't know exactly. And my view was a little obstructed by the table leg.

Debra: That's you.
Ray: I know. That's a picture of me. Why?
Debra: "Newsday's own Ray Barone survives pizza holdup." I thought it was supposed to be about Robert.
Ray: It was! "Sports columnist, Ray Barone, while on a citizen ride-along, narrowly escaped gunplay when an armed robber..." Blah, blah, blah, blah!
Debra: Does it mention him at all?
Ray: "Police apprehended the suspect." Police. He didn't mention him.
Debra: He is police.
Ray: No. What did they do?
Debra: Oh, maybe Robert won't read the paper today.
Ray: He's Robert. He reads it every day. He reads it. He taps his chin 12 times with it, and he reads it again.

Marie: Are you okay, sweetie?
Ray: Yes, I'm okay because Robert...
Marie: [hits Robert with the paper] How could you do that to your brother? He could've been killed.
Ray: Ma, you don't understand...
Marie: Be quiet. What business do you have getting involved in something like that with your brother there? He's gentle!
Robert: Police business, Mom. My job?
Marie: Oh, stop with the excuses. No more tag-arounds.
Robert: It's a "ride-along," Ma. Okay? You don't have to worry anymore 'cause it'll never happen again. Gentle Raymond can stay as far away from me as possible.

Robert: Excuse me.
Ray: You taking Shamsky for a walk?
Robert: Yep.
Ray: Maybe I'll go with you.
Robert: Well, you better check with your mama.
Ray: Come on, Robert. Wait up.
Marie: It's cold. You two, button your coats.

Marie: You couldn't listen to your mother. Next time I say button your coats, maybe you'll button your coats. And no more Cops. That's not entertainment.