William Dennison: Hey, Robert. Have a seat. Glad you could make it.
Robert: Are you sure about all this? Because, you know, I'm not much of a looker in the, uh, sober light of day. Am I right? I mean, you saw me at a Chinese restaurant. They're not exactly known for their lighting. So I totally understand if...
William Dennison: Robert! Robert, relax. We're just talking.
Robert: Okay.
William Dennison: So, how tall are you?
Robert: Uh, I'm 6'8" and a half, but I can schlump to 6'5".
William Dennison: No, no. Actually, one of the toughest things to find is someone who's tall who also photographs well. Most of the guys your height are... Well, they're more like circus freaks.
Robert: So I'm not a circus freak?
William Dennison: I'm not saying you're a cover model. But what we do here is more on the pages between the covers, where the advertisers want character faces to sell everything from new cars to headache medicines.
Robert: Oh, yeah. I could be the headache guy. I get headaches all the time. You should meet my family.

William Dennison: Just because I think you have a good look doesn't mean the advertisers are going to agree. But you never know.
Robert: Interesting. When you say "never know"...
William Dennison: Well, you may never book anything. Or you may book a few print jobs.
Robert: And what would something like that pay?
William Dennison: A couple thousand dollars. But I also have my top people out there doing commercials, and they're pulling down 100, 150 grand a year.
Robert: I'm in!

William Dennison: What I'd like to do is send you out a couple times, see what kind of reaction we get.
Robert: Okay. Great!
William Dennison: Yeah.
Robert: Yeah. Oh, hey, let 'em know I'm not afraid to go green.
William Dennison: Excuse me?
Robert: Go green. You know, in case they want me to sell vegetables.
William Dennison: Oh.
Robert: And people also tell me I have a good voice in case they want me to talk in any of the ads. "This is CNN."
William Dennison: Let's just focus on print ads for the time being, hmm?

William Dennison: First thing you're gonna need to do is go out and get some headshots to start your portfolio. Here are the names of some photographers other people here have used, or you could use our in-house guy.
Robert: That's sounds grrrreat! Tony the Tiger. I- I didn't know if that guy died already or anything. I thought they might, you know... Maybe they need a new tiger.

Amy: Oh my God! You guys are not going to believe this! Okay, Robert!
Robert: Hey.
Amy: He went to the agency, they signed him as a client. He already had his photo session with Herbert, and they're gonna start sending 'em out right away.
Ally: Why is Uncle Robert standing like that?
Robert: Well, Ally...
Amy: Because my husband is a model.
Ray: And sometimes models wear tight underwear.
Debra: Stop it, Ray. Robert, I just think that's terrific. I have always said that you were handsome.
Ray: And then we would laugh and laugh and laugh.

Robert: No, you know, actually, I'm not gonna go for the stereotypical, boring good-looks thing. I've got more of a character face.
Frank: Like The Wolf Man?
Robert: No. Maybe more like someone who gets paid to represent a major aspirin company.
Ray: Okay. All right. I'm gettin' the "major ass" part.
Robert: That was "Headache Guy."

Debra: I think that was great, Robert. Do another one.
Frank: No. Enough! I don't like this! I didn't raise no male models.
Marie: Oh, Frank.
Robert: That's all right. I expected just such a reaction. Guess it goes with the territory. That's why they pay us the big bucks.
Amy: They say he could potentially make 100,000 a year.
Frank: Holy crap! Shut up, paint your face, and start swingin' it downtown.

Ray: Hey, Dad, you could make some money. You could be "Hemorrhoid Guy."
Frank: Make me an offer!
Marie: Nobody wants to see your father.

Marie: Robbie, maybe you can find something for Raymond. There must be a cute-and-adorable department.
Debra: All right, can we just all let Robert have his moment?
Robert: That's all right, Debra. I don't mind spreading my good fortune. Ray, if you want, I could introduce you to Mr. Dennison when I pick up my pictures.
Ray: That's okay, Robert. One delusional person in the family is enough.
Marie: Oh, Robbie! I can't wait to see your picture in all the magazines!
Ray: Make that two delusional people.

Frank: So, there are a lot of good-lookin' broads down there?
Robert: Dad, please. Those are my colleagues.
Ray: Yeah, Dad. So, any of these colleagues Swedish?
Debra: Ugh, Ray.
Ray: I'm interested in my brother's life. And Europe.