Ray: I thought you got rid of this thing.
Debra: I did! I put it in the garbage the outside garbage. Boys, where did you get this?
Michael: In the garbage.
Ray: You've gotta feed them more!
Debra: What were you doing in the garbage?
Geoffrey: Looking for Easter eggs.
Debra: You know just wait a second, kids.
Ray: All right, look. You have to give this back now, okay? It's come back twice, it's- It's like a sign. It's like when you think the movie's over and then the hand comes up!

Marie: I want Frank to help me set the table. No, that's all right. [gasps] My canister. Where did you get that?
Frank: I, uh... was hiding it from you. I thought it would be funny.
Marie: You what?
Frank: Yeah, I was using it to keep my nuts and bolts in. Then, when I saw you carrying on about how much you wanted to find the damn thing, I hid it in the attic. Pretty funny, huh?
Marie: Frank, I love that canister! I've been tearing my hair out, running around like a crazy woman looking for that!
Frank: All funny.
Marie: Oh, really, Frank? Well, here's what's not funny, this marriage!
Debra: Marie, l-
Frank: Let her go.
Marie: This is so typical of you and your so-called sense of humor. You have no respect for me whatsoever and you never have. Well, I promise you something, Frank. You will not be looking back on this little stunt as funny. I hope you're happy with yourself. You have ruined Easter!

Ray: Wow, that's pretty nice, huh?
Debra: Yeah, it was nice of her to give this to me, but I can't keep it.
Debra: Why not? Because every time I look at it, I'll be reminded of what I did and how Frank took the heat for me. I mean, that's guilt in a can.
Ray: Silly, all right, it's just a canister. [opens the lid] "I know it was you!" [again] "Have sex with your husband!"
Debra: Yeah, yeah.

Debra: You've asked me for the canister, I tell you I don't have it, but that's not good enough!
Marie: Well, I don't have it.
Debra: Oh, and there's no possibility you could have misplaced it.
Marie: No.
Debra: So I'm a thief, then. And a liar. I'm a liar and a thief. Are you calling me a liar and a thief?!
Ray: [drops his egg] Oh!
Debra: You know, it just- It just hurts my feelings, Marie, because I told you I brought that canister back and if you don't believe me, then there's nothing I can do.
Marie: Oh, wait. Honey, honey, wait. Wait. You're right. I'm sorry. I don't want this. I mean, a holiday is a time for family. I love that canister, but I certainly don't want you feeling like this. I want us to have a wonderful Easter. Okay? Oh, I'm sorry, Debra.
Debra: Thank you, Marie.
Marie: Well, I should go. There's a pig eating my ham.

Robert: Wow. The Marie Barone apology. Until today, I had only heard about it.
Ray: And to you. Oh. There's your Easter miracle.
Debra: No, you know what? No, I give her a lot of credit, 'cause that was hard for her to do, but she did it and she meant it. Huh. You know what I think? Yeah. I think I finally got through to her. I mean, now she sees, she's not always right.

Debra: You know what? We've gotta get rid of this thing.
Ray: No, you can't do that. This was my Grandma's! You know how many cookies I've had from this thing?
Robert: Mmm, and lemon squares.
Ray: And brownies.
Robert: Blondies.
Ray: Fudge.
Robert: Chocolate biscotti.
Ray: Macaroons.
Robert: Oh, the macaroons.
Ray: How about the ginger snaps-
Debra: Hey, fat people! Who cares?

Ray: So, you'll just say that it was a mistake and that it was here all along.
Debra: No.
Ray: What do you mean, no?
Debra: No. We'll- We'll sneak it in. We'll hide it in her house and she'll just come across it someday and she'll realize she was the one that was wrong.
Ray: Except she wasn't wrong.
Debra: So you're saying you don't love me?
Ray: Okay, all right, fine, sneak it back in. But when you say we'll sneak it back in, you mean you and Ally will sneak it back in, 'cause that'll be great, like a take-your-daughter-to-work kind of thing.
Debra: You'll do what I say.
Ray: Yes, I will.

Debra: Hi, Marie, Happy Easter! Thank you so much for letting me take a crack at these mashed potatoes. Shall we go check them?
Marie: No, I'm sure they're fine, dear.
Debra: Happy Easter, Raymond. Aren't you gonna take off your coat? It looks awfully hot.
Ray: No. I'm a little chilly.
Marie: Oh, are you getting sick, honey?
Ray: No no, I'm all right.
Marie: Frank, turn up the heat, Raymond's sick!
Ray: No, Mom, I'm not. I'm not sick. I just think that this is a bitchin' jacket.
Marie: That's not Easter language. But it is stylish. Did I give this to you?

Debra: Please, Marie, I want you to check these potatoes. I think I left some eyes in it.
Marie: Stop worrying, darling, they'll be delicious. Is this down?
Debra: Marie, I am a terrible cook! I really want you to look at these potatoes. I didn't know what the hell I was doing!
Marie: Well, okay, let's go in the kitchen and take care of it.
Debra: Oh, good. Because I don't think these potatoes deserve to share a table with your fabulous ham.

Robert: Hey, Ray- [groans] What did you do?!
Ray: Nothing!
Robert: Then then why is it here?
Ray: Look, because-
Robert: Why is it here, man?! -
Ray: Would you shut up, please? Help me hide it!
Robert: Nuh-uh! I'm not touching it.
Ray: You said no matter what.
Robert: I didn't know I'd be battling the supernatural!